- talking to a new brother in Christ about how radically He is changing our lives
- speaking to parents on the phone
- Obama quoting 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 as he spoke to Newtown
- starting a weekly prayer meeting at work
- hearing about prayer for revival on campus
- the civil engineering firm
- surveying such majestic beauty in DC
- God inventing ice skating, Bon Chon, and mochi ice cream and letting us have at it all in one evening
- Tufts Med School accepting a brother so quickly
- really good Mexican food
- meeting a middle school student who was ridiculously frightened at starting school in America, spending five evenings a week with him, watching him learn, and leaving knowing that he is going to be absolutely fine next semester
- looking forward to running and tennis all of winter break, playing in the sun
- hearing from an old friend's little sister that my brother got a 1st place math trophy
- going to a sermon entirely about God's love
- watching Lost in Translation
- visiting school for a weekend
- talking on the phone about God and civil engineering for quite a long time
- marveling at Boston's night skyline from the top of a high school roof, for work (though it was so cold)
- spending much of a day emailing friends, telling them how precious and loved they are
- when a Korean mom made us breakfast for a few days
- a supervisor who firmly believes in self-sacrifice
- smiling at strangers or telling them when the bus is going to come or that it has just arrived around the corner so they can sprint over (hopefully) in time
- listening to hipster worship music at church
- really comfortable Clarks heels
- listening to Francis Chan's sermon, The Biggest Lie In Your Life, and this before going to sleep
- having a cell phone that can check email and take pictures and everything
- Google making a maps app
- the T
- finding that our alumni really are everywhere and eager to help
- experiencing a power outage at P&G/Gillette (which wasn't exactly fun but I did wonder what the robots that drive themselves would do if they had to stop)
- feeling so small in Boston's beautiful business district
- trying out the cutest, most economical little sushi shop
- a Yale a capella concert in which they bashed Harvard
- visiting the Museum of Fine Arts
- spending Fall Break basically just eating food with friends, so much that we only went to important landmarks in order to find more food
- getting to thank God in all of these moments and falling deeper in love with Him every day
Sunday, December 16, 2012
This semester's good fun, highly abridged
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Prayer Request
In my entire life, I have seen a total of I think two Korean drama movie things. I think they were movies, not dramas. From what I know, they are typically (I think) ridiculously emotional and rather unrealistic. But they really seem to get people's attention... given how many people enjoy them regularly, which may or may not be a bad thing.
The one on my mind is a rather popular one. I don't remember what it is called, but this guy meets a girl who later gets Alzheimer's and starts to forget him. This gets pretty sad because when she realizes that she is losing her memory, she becomes desperate. She writes hundreds of reminder notes around the house. She holds onto him and cries because she doesn't know when she will remember him again. The thing she wants, above everything else, is to keep remembering and loving him.
Unfortunately, I am experiencing a situation like this.
In the time I have met and gotten to know Jesus more, I have never experienced such a bad attack of what I am calling, a spiritual Alzheimer's.
It's been so clear that Jesus is truly God. Every time I ask Him to reveal Himself, He has practically and/or literally been right in front of my face. Over and over again, every time I lose faith, He shows me so clearly that He IS real, that He is not too good to be true, that He died for every single person who ever lived and who ever is to live. I know I'm not crazy because there is an enormous cloud of witnesses who also have stories about Him.
But I keep forgetting and then living as though I don't know this at all. Every now and then, I remember again and desperately try to hold onto the truth. Then I forget again.
In the moments that I do remember, I try to do everything I can to hold on, to remember, to not let go of Him. I write to Him, I talk to Him, listen to Him, promise to Him, cry to Him, fall in love with Him, and share His love. I talk to other people about Him, I listen to other people talk about Him. I worship Him.
Right now, I think I'm about to forget again, and I don't know when I will remember again. I'm so scared.
Please pray for me.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 ESV)
The one on my mind is a rather popular one. I don't remember what it is called, but this guy meets a girl who later gets Alzheimer's and starts to forget him. This gets pretty sad because when she realizes that she is losing her memory, she becomes desperate. She writes hundreds of reminder notes around the house. She holds onto him and cries because she doesn't know when she will remember him again. The thing she wants, above everything else, is to keep remembering and loving him.
Unfortunately, I am experiencing a situation like this.
In the time I have met and gotten to know Jesus more, I have never experienced such a bad attack of what I am calling, a spiritual Alzheimer's.
It's been so clear that Jesus is truly God. Every time I ask Him to reveal Himself, He has practically and/or literally been right in front of my face. Over and over again, every time I lose faith, He shows me so clearly that He IS real, that He is not too good to be true, that He died for every single person who ever lived and who ever is to live. I know I'm not crazy because there is an enormous cloud of witnesses who also have stories about Him.
But I keep forgetting and then living as though I don't know this at all. Every now and then, I remember again and desperately try to hold onto the truth. Then I forget again.
In the moments that I do remember, I try to do everything I can to hold on, to remember, to not let go of Him. I write to Him, I talk to Him, listen to Him, promise to Him, cry to Him, fall in love with Him, and share His love. I talk to other people about Him, I listen to other people talk about Him. I worship Him.
Right now, I think I'm about to forget again, and I don't know when I will remember again. I'm so scared.
Please pray for me.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 ESV)
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Note to self: I am in love with You
But hey, I'm slipping away, here.
Don't forget that God revealed Himself (Deuteronomy 4:29), and looking back, that ALL of these moments are biblical.
Nature (Nehemiah 9:6)
The angel's touch (Daniel 10:10)
A friend's word of knowledge about a great fear (Hebrews 2:14-15)
Being dressed and prepared as His bride (Revelation 19:6-10)
Jesus's confirmation about Heaven (John 17:3)
Being transformed into royalty (Romans 8:15-17)
Crying for the lost (Romans 9:1-3)
Angels battling and wrestling demons on the beach (2 Kings 6:16)
God's tangible presence during worship, prayer (James 4:8)
I am so weak, so forgetful; God is good.
Listening now: A Little Longer - Brian & Jenn Johnson
Listening now: A Little Longer - Brian & Jenn Johnson
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
I cried out to God and He answered.
This morning, I made some more progress in Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret (written by Howard and Geraldine Taylor, revised by Gwen Hanna) and came across this quote on page 84:
In great spiritual agony, I wandered out on the sands alone. And there the Lord conquered my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to God for this service. I told him that all the responsibility as to the issues and consequences must rest with him; that as his servant it was mine to obey and to follow him, his to direct, care for and guide me and those who might labor with me. Need I say that at once peace flowed into my burdened heart?
Hudson Taylor vocalizes this moment too well.
At this point in the story, he's currently doing some translation work in China, but desires aide for more missions work. For a while, he cannot see the power that will provide people who will come and stay. But as he contemplates the million a month who are dying without God, he prays. And then, the Spirit gives him peace.
I completely attest to the fact that the Holy Spirit does bring peace in this way. (Haha though my experience is not as intense as Taylor's because he was in China and praying for thousands, while I was in the comfort of Ithaca.)
Recently, I was praying for some younger friends who have been looking for Him. (I'll be vague here to maintain a level of privacy.) One of these friends asked me about going to a Christian event. As he became increasingly uncertain, I felt increasing agony. The Spirit said, "Ah man. My boy has just slipped out of my hands." But He didn't stop there because God is so powerful, and so patient. Because immediately afterwards, He said, "Don't worry. I'll take care of this and he'll come to me."
But I wasn't fully convinced, and God was still sad that my friend did not know Him. As I prayed more, I felt an increasing sadness, and cried... a cry that did not come from my heart, but from the Spirit. The power of this cry was enormous, far greater than I could understand or think to call my own. My soul yelled to Jesus, "Reveal Yourself to him!!! Let this child's journey glorify You! I will do anything, or nothing, whatever you ask. If I am to do nothing, I ask that the other Christians in his life would encourage him to walk after you. If it takes years, I know you are just writing this beautiful story in a way I cannot see. But God, please, please, please... let him know You."
As I washed away my tears and stepped away from the sink... so quickly, before I had noticed a change, the Spirit brought complete peace. This absence of worry was not numbness, but was healthy contentment. So I knew: God is in control.
My soul rested.
On another note, today marks the second time I've emailed back and forth with a stranger and by the third or so email they call me Kevin... which is actually my little brother's name! Happy birthday again, little one.
In great spiritual agony, I wandered out on the sands alone. And there the Lord conquered my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to God for this service. I told him that all the responsibility as to the issues and consequences must rest with him; that as his servant it was mine to obey and to follow him, his to direct, care for and guide me and those who might labor with me. Need I say that at once peace flowed into my burdened heart?
Hudson Taylor vocalizes this moment too well.
At this point in the story, he's currently doing some translation work in China, but desires aide for more missions work. For a while, he cannot see the power that will provide people who will come and stay. But as he contemplates the million a month who are dying without God, he prays. And then, the Spirit gives him peace.
I completely attest to the fact that the Holy Spirit does bring peace in this way. (Haha though my experience is not as intense as Taylor's because he was in China and praying for thousands, while I was in the comfort of Ithaca.)
Recently, I was praying for some younger friends who have been looking for Him. (I'll be vague here to maintain a level of privacy.) One of these friends asked me about going to a Christian event. As he became increasingly uncertain, I felt increasing agony. The Spirit said, "Ah man. My boy has just slipped out of my hands." But He didn't stop there because God is so powerful, and so patient. Because immediately afterwards, He said, "Don't worry. I'll take care of this and he'll come to me."
But I wasn't fully convinced, and God was still sad that my friend did not know Him. As I prayed more, I felt an increasing sadness, and cried... a cry that did not come from my heart, but from the Spirit. The power of this cry was enormous, far greater than I could understand or think to call my own. My soul yelled to Jesus, "Reveal Yourself to him!!! Let this child's journey glorify You! I will do anything, or nothing, whatever you ask. If I am to do nothing, I ask that the other Christians in his life would encourage him to walk after you. If it takes years, I know you are just writing this beautiful story in a way I cannot see. But God, please, please, please... let him know You."
As I washed away my tears and stepped away from the sink... so quickly, before I had noticed a change, the Spirit brought complete peace. This absence of worry was not numbness, but was healthy contentment. So I knew: God is in control.
My soul rested.
On another note, today marks the second time I've emailed back and forth with a stranger and by the third or so email they call me Kevin... which is actually my little brother's name! Happy birthday again, little one.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
What have I lost?
I'm saying this now because I feel like I've lost a lot recently.
... a friend.
... the mind battle against a particularly difficult test.
... the luxury of thinking fewer and simpler thoughts
... and turn off recurring ones.
... the freedom of reading for hours each summer day.
... time.
... a memento of my grandmother.
... interest in watching the telly.
... quite a few opportunities to create art.
... memories.
... files that I downloaded from Blackboard which have somehow disappeared from the folders in which I saved them.
... the sort of need to get married. (Haha. I don't think my spiritual mother approves of my jokes about celibacy... But really, it wouldn't be so bad!)
... joy in things of this world that surpass the joy experienced with Jesus
... the ability to stop eating all this White Rabbit creamy candy.
... trust.
... respect.
... security.
... homes. So many homes.
... the pride and privilege of having a Chinese citizenship.
... the fear of losing things.
Two points.
1. By losing these things, beautiful things have happened. With some bittersweet, some madly difficult, but a lot of beautiful.
2. I'm learning that things were never mine to own in the first place. Truly, I have the same before and now, in Him.
This is freeing.
Listening now: Lead Me To The Cross - Hillsong Live, Samson - Regina Spektor, Beginners Theme Suite - Beginners Soundtrack
... a friend.
... the mind battle against a particularly difficult test.
... the luxury of thinking fewer and simpler thoughts
... and turn off recurring ones.
... the freedom of reading for hours each summer day.
... time.
... a memento of my grandmother.
... interest in watching the telly.
... quite a few opportunities to create art.
... memories.
... files that I downloaded from Blackboard which have somehow disappeared from the folders in which I saved them.
... the sort of need to get married. (Haha. I don't think my spiritual mother approves of my jokes about celibacy... But really, it wouldn't be so bad!)
... joy in things of this world that surpass the joy experienced with Jesus
... the ability to stop eating all this White Rabbit creamy candy.
... trust.
... respect.
... security.
... homes. So many homes.
... the pride and privilege of having a Chinese citizenship.
... the fear of losing things.
Two points.
1. By losing these things, beautiful things have happened. With some bittersweet, some madly difficult, but a lot of beautiful.
2. I'm learning that things were never mine to own in the first place. Truly, I have the same before and now, in Him.
This is freeing.
Listening now: Lead Me To The Cross - Hillsong Live, Samson - Regina Spektor, Beginners Theme Suite - Beginners Soundtrack
Friday, June 01, 2012
To my childhood friend
Hi A. H.!
I don't know if you remember me anymore but that's okay, haha; we haven't talked for years!!
I wanted to say hello to you today because you are really important to me!
I remember when you were in 4th grade, I first met you. You were the first friend I had who said she was Christian, and you taught me how to pray in Jesus's name. That was the first time I ever thought about Christianity. You and your mom even invited my mom and I to church one day. At Sunday school, the teacher asked noticed that I was new and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" and I said "Yes," not really understanding what was going on. Then we read some of Revelations, which was pretty intense. Then, at lunch we had rice, bai chai and some sort of meat. You were scared because apparently there was a bat in the next room.
After fourth grade I didn't think much of Jesus until a couple of years ago.
But about a year ago, I started having love encounters with God. Since then my perspective has radically changed. Now I'm getting to know the Jesus who we innocently discussed about a decade ago. Everything about Him is so beautiful. His infinite love, patience, His angels, his Spirit...
So, I pray that He becomes even more important in our lives, soon and always.
Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day!
Love always,
Kejing
I don't know if you remember me anymore but that's okay, haha; we haven't talked for years!!
I wanted to say hello to you today because you are really important to me!
I remember when you were in 4th grade, I first met you. You were the first friend I had who said she was Christian, and you taught me how to pray in Jesus's name. That was the first time I ever thought about Christianity. You and your mom even invited my mom and I to church one day. At Sunday school, the teacher asked noticed that I was new and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" and I said "Yes," not really understanding what was going on. Then we read some of Revelations, which was pretty intense. Then, at lunch we had rice, bai chai and some sort of meat. You were scared because apparently there was a bat in the next room.
After fourth grade I didn't think much of Jesus until a couple of years ago.
But about a year ago, I started having love encounters with God. Since then my perspective has radically changed. Now I'm getting to know the Jesus who we innocently discussed about a decade ago. Everything about Him is so beautiful. His infinite love, patience, His angels, his Spirit...
So, I pray that He becomes even more important in our lives, soon and always.
Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day!
Love always,
Kejing
Monday, May 14, 2012
Bertrand Russell
Shoot! Bertrand Russell died in 1970.
I wanted to debate him. He wrote “Why I Am Not a Christian,” which is sometimes available as a pdf on DC++.
It’s very unconvincing.
---
Russell delivered this lecture on March 6, 1927 to the National Secular Society, South London Branch, at Battersea Town Hall. Published in pamphlet form in that same year, the essay subsequently achieved new fame with Paul Edwards’ edition of Russell’s book, Why I Am Not a Christian and Other Essays … (1957).
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Love from the Holy Spirit
Don't fret about impressing or being beautiful for any person. Be in love with God, who loves you no matter what. Be so in love with God that no worldly worries have weight in your decisions. Just rest in His presence and do what worldly things you can for His glory. Everything for the King of kings...
Monday, May 07, 2012
Tejal and Kejing's to-do list
2. go down to the gorges, wherever that is (1/2)
3. tunnel between Olin and Uris
5. go sailing if possible. Find out if possible.
7. BoatYard Grill (1/2)
9. see Denice Cassaro (1/2)
12. Fuertes Observatory (1/2)
15. attend an opening at the Johnson Museum of Art
16. see something at the Schwartz Center (1/2)
18. eat at Banfi's
19. trivia night
21. Cornell Cinema (1/2)
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Big Break & Evangelism
Almost everyone seemed to be glad about this trip. Some mentioned spiritual and character growth, good Christ-centered conversations with people on the beach, and new fellowships with each other.
I completely agree. All of these comments are true and of course fail to truly describe the incredible experience.
But at the same time, my heart was concerned.
1. The passion to evangelize will die down because we are going back to real life, where our task in leaving our home is not only to speak to people about Jesus, but also to do countless other things. To worry about other things. To think that maybe glorifying God is not our first priority. To think that maybe God is not our first priority, even though He is real and eternal.
2. As the trip was ending, we started playing more games of Mafia. When I am not sleepy I think this is a fantastic game. At night, someone on the bus said, "Christians like this game more than the average person because it's the only time they're allowed to lie." Then I started thinking... how much blatant lying and deceit takes place over events that are real and important? How easily does the devil gather people to be like him? How many demons sit around before angels shoo them away, just because we didn't pray?
Don't let the devil chuckle at his success.
Feel uneasy when you meet someone who doesn't know that God loves them, but glad that God is working hard and battling for that person! Don't ever believe or admit that you aren't "good enough" to talk about God. Keep praying and reading the Bible to hone and grow your discernment. Jesus is always with you, helping you, guiding you... and He is not a secret. He is enormously important!
I completely agree. All of these comments are true and of course fail to truly describe the incredible experience.
But at the same time, my heart was concerned.
1. The passion to evangelize will die down because we are going back to real life, where our task in leaving our home is not only to speak to people about Jesus, but also to do countless other things. To worry about other things. To think that maybe glorifying God is not our first priority. To think that maybe God is not our first priority, even though He is real and eternal.
2. As the trip was ending, we started playing more games of Mafia. When I am not sleepy I think this is a fantastic game. At night, someone on the bus said, "Christians like this game more than the average person because it's the only time they're allowed to lie." Then I started thinking... how much blatant lying and deceit takes place over events that are real and important? How easily does the devil gather people to be like him? How many demons sit around before angels shoo them away, just because we didn't pray?
Don't let the devil chuckle at his success.
Feel uneasy when you meet someone who doesn't know that God loves them, but glad that God is working hard and battling for that person! Don't ever believe or admit that you aren't "good enough" to talk about God. Keep praying and reading the Bible to hone and grow your discernment. Jesus is always with you, helping you, guiding you... and He is not a secret. He is enormously important!
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