But separate's always better when there's feelings invooooolved
Oh oh
Heeey yaaa
Heeey yaaaa
I say what's cooler than bein' cool?
Ice cold
Lend me some sugah; I am your neighbor!
Leave the bourbon on the shelf
And I'll drink it by myself
If only we could move away
From here.
Let's disappear till tomorrow
Dis a ppea r
Back with my high school friends
Meetin' where the train tracks end
Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone and keep a straight face
Nothing is easy. Nothing is sacred. Why?
They got me on the run. Direct me to the sun
Only the young can break away, break away
Is there anyone out there?
I watched him spin you round and round
Why did you roll your dice, show your cards...
Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
I feel like it's a Kermit with a chef's hat on.
That was Nicole.
We just made a gingerbread house! It was the first one I have ever helped make. Anne is telling us the beginning of her adorable love story. Faith's computer is playing a Christmas station on Pandora, and I am typing on her computer. We are wondering if this guy is from Barcelona. Probably not. Faith, Anne and Nicole are SO cool. Faith has a master plan to figure out how she can associate with a certain group of people. It's Nicole's turn now. We are going to bed soon. Faith, if you end up reading this, I'm sorry it wasn't very exciting. But I probably shouldn't post our personal stories on the internet. It's supposed to rain tomorrow! The high is 41 degrees tomorrow. SO warm! Really.
"When you were little and you had play dates with people... I'm so sleeepyyy... I feel like these are awkward sneakers. He must've been a huge stoner. Don't you think? Well not them; I meant the old one. Everyone cartoons is short. But yeah, I don't know. Oh. Fail. A gingerbread. But you can eat it if you want it. It's massive. It's so big. Regression. Regression. Kejing's blogging about us. I want to start a blog, guys. Yeaaah. I've made a one-log... yeah.! My friend Riley and I made a response video and we actually posted it and it was like, Faith and Riley! Demi Lovato? I'm trying! I'm working with you. Mhm. Yes. It's like a Japanese restaurant where you sit around the cook stove. Sooo good. Mmm. What are you writing? And it better be about us. That's all I have to say. Faith Faith Faith. Nicole Nicole Nicole. Anne Anne Anne. Okay go ahead. This is being wasted. My eyes are getting larger and larger. I don't even remember the part we were crying at but Nicole said this isn't the part you're supposed to be crying. I'm going to start writing in my journal and not read it to you. Kejing is not sharing her blog so I'm going to make an an.. angr.. angry response. I can't talk." ...said Faith.
There is a pile of Hamlet books on Faith's printer, and a tiny Christmas tree. She was up late Facebook-chatting three really creepy boys, except she likes two of them. So if you are one of them.... you have a two thirds chance of being in luck. I think they want me to read them the post now.
Hmmm, it says this blog has had 1,196 views through all time. I wonder if my parents have found this yet.
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. So close!
We just made a gingerbread house! It was the first one I have ever helped make. Anne is telling us the beginning of her adorable love story. Faith's computer is playing a Christmas station on Pandora, and I am typing on her computer. We are wondering if this guy is from Barcelona. Probably not. Faith, Anne and Nicole are SO cool. Faith has a master plan to figure out how she can associate with a certain group of people. It's Nicole's turn now. We are going to bed soon. Faith, if you end up reading this, I'm sorry it wasn't very exciting. But I probably shouldn't post our personal stories on the internet. It's supposed to rain tomorrow! The high is 41 degrees tomorrow. SO warm! Really.
"When you were little and you had play dates with people... I'm so sleeepyyy... I feel like these are awkward sneakers. He must've been a huge stoner. Don't you think? Well not them; I meant the old one. Everyone cartoons is short. But yeah, I don't know. Oh. Fail. A gingerbread. But you can eat it if you want it. It's massive. It's so big. Regression. Regression. Kejing's blogging about us. I want to start a blog, guys. Yeaaah. I've made a one-log... yeah.! My friend Riley and I made a response video and we actually posted it and it was like, Faith and Riley! Demi Lovato? I'm trying! I'm working with you. Mhm. Yes. It's like a Japanese restaurant where you sit around the cook stove. Sooo good. Mmm. What are you writing? And it better be about us. That's all I have to say. Faith Faith Faith. Nicole Nicole Nicole. Anne Anne Anne. Okay go ahead. This is being wasted. My eyes are getting larger and larger. I don't even remember the part we were crying at but Nicole said this isn't the part you're supposed to be crying. I'm going to start writing in my journal and not read it to you. Kejing is not sharing her blog so I'm going to make an an.. angr.. angry response. I can't talk." ...said Faith.
There is a pile of Hamlet books on Faith's printer, and a tiny Christmas tree. She was up late Facebook-chatting three really creepy boys, except she likes two of them. So if you are one of them.... you have a two thirds chance of being in luck. I think they want me to read them the post now.
Hmmm, it says this blog has had 1,196 views through all time. I wonder if my parents have found this yet.
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. So close!
Saturday, December 04, 2010
The End
As I (hopefully) reach the end of my differential equations courses, I remember sitting in lecture during the spring semester with Jack, William, Lyndssey and Blair.
Professor Sussman: I actually spent days of vacation plotting 3D graphs.
[class laughs]
Professor Sussman: I'm serious.
Ten more days. Sooo close!
Professor Sussman: I actually spent days of vacation plotting 3D graphs.
[class laughs]
Professor Sussman: I'm serious.
Ten more days. Sooo close!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Hey.
Since my last post was about the courses for which I signed up, I should probably talk about them, since the classes end in a couple of weeks.
The descriptions were probably from the Courses of Study website.
Matlab has been okay so far. The projects are kind of time-consuming. The last one is making the worm game, which I remember Ryan really liked playing on his graphing calculator. It is maybe not as complicated because the worm is supposed to stay the same length. We'll see. It says that this time, they won't give much guidance about how to actually do the project. So it will take a lot of planning. We get our third prelim grades back on Tuesday morning at the end of the lecture.
The freshman writing seminar hasn't really been about fairy tales in the sense that you would expect. A lot of it is pretty modern. Right now, we are revising each other's essays in preparation for the final portfolio. But we have to write an addition essay about the three essays we put into that. Hmm. I guess a lot of people in my class have been fairly disappointed about the course, because the description seemed very interesting, but they do not enjoy actually taking the course.
Math is probably the most comfortable course I have right now. The first prelim was entirely covered in my class last spring. We are doing wave equations right now, using separation of variables to solve partial differential equations. It is a little weird, because the variables and terms they use are different from the ones I have learned in physics this semester, but are still somewhat familiar. The lecture is fun because I always sit with my friends and we generally have a good time, somehow. And I almost always eat food there.
Swedish massage and more has mainly been "and more" and not as much Swedish massage as I expected. It is not very awkward, because everyone has to massage each other, and you just do it. I guess it can be painful at times if your partner hurts you, but thankfully I haven't really hurt people, and it doesn't seem too difficult as long as you think about how it might feel to the other person while you are moving your hands and fingers. I guess it helps that I can play the piano.
Physics has kind of been my enemy this semester. I don't think I have enough passion to learn it really really well. I also don't think people usually take this course if they are doing my major. I do not actually need to take my math class, either. But here I am, completely left out compared to all these academically experienced male MechE's, ECE's, AEP's... They are too smart. I spent 8 hours on quantum physics yesterday.
The engineering seminar ended a couple weeks ago.
I don't actually like talking about school this much. But at least there is now some balance with the previous post.
Over the summer, I saw a Cornell girl's blog, saying that she rarely had time to explore Ithaca or anything while she has been here, because she is usually doing homework or just hanging around on campus. I disagree. If you want to get out, you can. For example, I have gone to the Farmer's Market at least five times. They have really good food, such as fruit, but also other things like strawberry Nutella crepes with whipped cream. It is really cool just to sit near the steamboat landing, and take in Ithaca's aura. There are a lot of families who go, and even though it is so far away from real home, it is something I think is worth joining.
But, I do run out of time. So much that I not found very many new songs. Consequently, I have been listening to a lot a lot of The Killers and Metric, as usual.
I would say that I will blog more, but I feel like it's kind of tough to make commitments in college...
The descriptions were probably from the Courses of Study website.
Matlab has been okay so far. The projects are kind of time-consuming. The last one is making the worm game, which I remember Ryan really liked playing on his graphing calculator. It is maybe not as complicated because the worm is supposed to stay the same length. We'll see. It says that this time, they won't give much guidance about how to actually do the project. So it will take a lot of planning. We get our third prelim grades back on Tuesday morning at the end of the lecture.
The freshman writing seminar hasn't really been about fairy tales in the sense that you would expect. A lot of it is pretty modern. Right now, we are revising each other's essays in preparation for the final portfolio. But we have to write an addition essay about the three essays we put into that. Hmm. I guess a lot of people in my class have been fairly disappointed about the course, because the description seemed very interesting, but they do not enjoy actually taking the course.
Math is probably the most comfortable course I have right now. The first prelim was entirely covered in my class last spring. We are doing wave equations right now, using separation of variables to solve partial differential equations. It is a little weird, because the variables and terms they use are different from the ones I have learned in physics this semester, but are still somewhat familiar. The lecture is fun because I always sit with my friends and we generally have a good time, somehow. And I almost always eat food there.
Swedish massage and more has mainly been "and more" and not as much Swedish massage as I expected. It is not very awkward, because everyone has to massage each other, and you just do it. I guess it can be painful at times if your partner hurts you, but thankfully I haven't really hurt people, and it doesn't seem too difficult as long as you think about how it might feel to the other person while you are moving your hands and fingers. I guess it helps that I can play the piano.
Physics has kind of been my enemy this semester. I don't think I have enough passion to learn it really really well. I also don't think people usually take this course if they are doing my major. I do not actually need to take my math class, either. But here I am, completely left out compared to all these academically experienced male MechE's, ECE's, AEP's... They are too smart. I spent 8 hours on quantum physics yesterday.
The engineering seminar ended a couple weeks ago.
I don't actually like talking about school this much. But at least there is now some balance with the previous post.
Over the summer, I saw a Cornell girl's blog, saying that she rarely had time to explore Ithaca or anything while she has been here, because she is usually doing homework or just hanging around on campus. I disagree. If you want to get out, you can. For example, I have gone to the Farmer's Market at least five times. They have really good food, such as fruit, but also other things like strawberry Nutella crepes with whipped cream. It is really cool just to sit near the steamboat landing, and take in Ithaca's aura. There are a lot of families who go, and even though it is so far away from real home, it is something I think is worth joining.
But, I do run out of time. So much that I not found very many new songs. Consequently, I have been listening to a lot a lot of The Killers and Metric, as usual.
I would say that I will blog more, but I feel like it's kind of tough to make commitments in college...
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Fall 2010... for now.
CS 1112 Introduction to Computing Using MATLAB
Fall, spring. 4 credits. Corequisite: MATH 1110, 1910, or equivalent. Assumes student is comfortable with mathematics (at level of one semester of calculus) but has no prior programming experience.
Programming and problem solving using MATLAB. Emphasizes the systematic development of algorithms and programs. Topics include iteration, functions, arrays, and MATLAB graphics. Assignments are designed to build an appreciation for complexity, dimension, fuzzy data, inexact arithmetic, randomness, simulation, and the role of approximation.
ENGRG 1050 Engineering Seminar
Fall. 1 credit. Prerequisite: freshman standing. S–U grades only.
First-year engineering students meet in groups of 18 to 20 students weekly with their faculty advisors. Discussions may include the engineering curriculum and student programs, what engineers do, the character of engineering careers, active research areas in the college and in engineering in general, and study and examination skills useful for engineering students. Groups may visit campus academic, engineering, and research facilities.
GERST 1109 From Fairy Tales to the Uncanny: Exploring the Romantic Consciousness
3 credits.
As didactic texts that present explicit—and implicit—moral lessons, fairy tales shape cultural identity by questioning as well as affirming dominant cultural values. This seminar uses selections from the Brothers Grimm to analyze characteristic features of the genre and examine its evolution to the present day. Our investigation will focus on how the transformation of oral folk tales into literary texts in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries sparked an interest in androids, the paranormal, and the pathological and spurred German Romantics to experiment with new forms of fiction that established the matrix for popular genres like horror, mystery, fantasy, and sci-fi. The emphasis of the course is on improving writing skills.
MATH 2930 Differential Equations for Engineers (MQR)
Fall, spring, summer. 4 credits. Prerequisite: MATH 1920. Taking MATH 2930 and 2940 simultaneously is not recommended.
Introduction to ordinary and partial differential equations. Topics include: first-order equations (separable, linear, homogeneous, exact); mathematical modeling (e.g., population growth, terminal velocity); qualitative methods (slope fields, phase plots, equilibria, and stability); numerical methods; second-order equations (method of undetermined coefficients, application to oscillations and resonance, boundary-value problems and eigenvalues); Fourier series; linear partial differential equations (heat flow, waves, the Laplace equation); and linear systems of ordinary differential equations.
PE 1416 Swedish Massage And More
1 credit.
Swedish massage will be the common denominator as we explore multiple techniques to release stress and tightness in our bodies. We will have a bit of a sampler, with emphasis on understanding mechanisms of stress and how to interrupt patterns of movement that might be problematic over time. We will dabble in aromatherapy, The Trager Approach ®, reflexology, and massage with movement, to name a few. No prereq required.
PHYS 2214 Physics III: Oscillations, Waves, and Quantum Physics (PBS)
Fall, spring, summer (six-week session). 4 credits. Prerequisites: PHYS 2213 and MATH 1920, 2220, 2240 or 2130. (See list of overlapping physics courses.) Students may benefit from prior exposure to differential equations (at level of MATH 2930). Students lacking this background should co-register for MATH 2930. Students with strong performance in PHYS 2208 and who have taken vector calculus are also encouraged to enroll. Fall, R. Thorne; spring, staff; summer, D. Briota.
For majors in engineering (including biological, biomedical, and biomolecular engineering), computer science, physics, earth and atmospheric science, and other physical and biological sciences who wish to understand the oscillation, wave, and quantum phenomena behind much of modern technology and scientific/medical instrumentation. Covers physics of oscillations and wave phenomena, including driven oscillations and resonance, mechanical waves, sound waves, electromagnetic waves, reflection and transmission of waves, standing waves, beats, Doppler effect, polarization, interference, diffraction, transport of momentum and energy, wave properties of particles, and introduction to quantum physics. With applications to phenomena and measurement technologies in engineering, the physical sciences, and biological sciences.
Fall, spring. 4 credits. Corequisite: MATH 1110, 1910, or equivalent. Assumes student is comfortable with mathematics (at level of one semester of calculus) but has no prior programming experience.
Programming and problem solving using MATLAB. Emphasizes the systematic development of algorithms and programs. Topics include iteration, functions, arrays, and MATLAB graphics. Assignments are designed to build an appreciation for complexity, dimension, fuzzy data, inexact arithmetic, randomness, simulation, and the role of approximation.
ENGRG 1050 Engineering Seminar
Fall. 1 credit. Prerequisite: freshman standing. S–U grades only.
First-year engineering students meet in groups of 18 to 20 students weekly with their faculty advisors. Discussions may include the engineering curriculum and student programs, what engineers do, the character of engineering careers, active research areas in the college and in engineering in general, and study and examination skills useful for engineering students. Groups may visit campus academic, engineering, and research facilities.
GERST 1109 From Fairy Tales to the Uncanny: Exploring the Romantic Consciousness
3 credits.
As didactic texts that present explicit—and implicit—moral lessons, fairy tales shape cultural identity by questioning as well as affirming dominant cultural values. This seminar uses selections from the Brothers Grimm to analyze characteristic features of the genre and examine its evolution to the present day. Our investigation will focus on how the transformation of oral folk tales into literary texts in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries sparked an interest in androids, the paranormal, and the pathological and spurred German Romantics to experiment with new forms of fiction that established the matrix for popular genres like horror, mystery, fantasy, and sci-fi. The emphasis of the course is on improving writing skills.
MATH 2930 Differential Equations for Engineers (MQR)
Fall, spring, summer. 4 credits. Prerequisite: MATH 1920. Taking MATH 2930 and 2940 simultaneously is not recommended.
Introduction to ordinary and partial differential equations. Topics include: first-order equations (separable, linear, homogeneous, exact); mathematical modeling (e.g., population growth, terminal velocity); qualitative methods (slope fields, phase plots, equilibria, and stability); numerical methods; second-order equations (method of undetermined coefficients, application to oscillations and resonance, boundary-value problems and eigenvalues); Fourier series; linear partial differential equations (heat flow, waves, the Laplace equation); and linear systems of ordinary differential equations.
PE 1416 Swedish Massage And More
1 credit.
Swedish massage will be the common denominator as we explore multiple techniques to release stress and tightness in our bodies. We will have a bit of a sampler, with emphasis on understanding mechanisms of stress and how to interrupt patterns of movement that might be problematic over time. We will dabble in aromatherapy, The Trager Approach ®, reflexology, and massage with movement, to name a few. No prereq required.
PHYS 2214 Physics III: Oscillations, Waves, and Quantum Physics (PBS)
Fall, spring, summer (six-week session). 4 credits. Prerequisites: PHYS 2213 and MATH 1920, 2220, 2240 or 2130. (See list of overlapping physics courses.) Students may benefit from prior exposure to differential equations (at level of MATH 2930). Students lacking this background should co-register for MATH 2930. Students with strong performance in PHYS 2208 and who have taken vector calculus are also encouraged to enroll. Fall, R. Thorne; spring, staff; summer, D. Briota.
For majors in engineering (including biological, biomedical, and biomolecular engineering), computer science, physics, earth and atmospheric science, and other physical and biological sciences who wish to understand the oscillation, wave, and quantum phenomena behind much of modern technology and scientific/medical instrumentation. Covers physics of oscillations and wave phenomena, including driven oscillations and resonance, mechanical waves, sound waves, electromagnetic waves, reflection and transmission of waves, standing waves, beats, Doppler effect, polarization, interference, diffraction, transport of momentum and energy, wave properties of particles, and introduction to quantum physics. With applications to phenomena and measurement technologies in engineering, the physical sciences, and biological sciences.
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Is blogging old-fashioned now?
Juggling... I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I can't even throw one ball properly. It is supposed to go in a steep arch to your other hand. Even that is a challenge. Darn.
One of my few Asian guy friends officially introduced me to Starcraft yesterday. Finally! Except, I was pretty pathetic and didn't know what to click. Apparently he has played for years, but maybe if he were South Korean, his APM would be higher. I'm kidding.
On the new iTunes, when you right-click on a song, the top option is to Play/Pause. I have always gotten used to it being Get Info. I think it's awfully mean that they changed it. It keeps tricking me.
I feel like Nino Rota is one of those people who has done a lot to influence our life's memories. In this case, the audio ones. He has written so much for film scores. All his pieces sound familiar to me. Maybe it's his style. You'd expect some famous old movie to have music like that. I think the one we can probably recognize by name is "Love Theme From Romeo & Juliet."
One of my friends (who unfortunately deleted her blog this year on May 27 so I cannot sneakily give you a link to it) made me a CD. The 19th song was interesting, by U2. It is called "Walk On." After looking carefully at the lyrics, I think this is the song that most accurately describes me, right now.
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you got they can’t steal it
No they can’t even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Home... hard to know what it is if you’ve never had one
Home... I can’t say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the hurt is
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
...
Saturday, July 31, 2010
11:44am Saturday, July 31, 2010
Four years later, I am fulfilling the promise to myself that I would return to the north. I will eagerly be back for breaks, to fully appreciate my parents' cooking, see my best friends, and actually enjoy the Floridian weather. I have a bit more than two weeks left here. This time, I will not miss much more than family and friends.
I discovered that I actually do not have trouble with maps and directions. They always make sense to me, not including the rare discrepancies between Google Maps and real life. Also, for road trips, my family purchased a TomTom GPS. The voice that we chose on it sounds a ton like President Obama.
I'm going to one of those schools that years ago, I thought I wouldn't be accepted, so that's kind of strange. It is weird that I worried about health insurance, but I will have something like "home away care."
The people here have similar trouble with my name. The most common mistake is to add an extra "i" after the "e." You'd be surprised how many Chinese people have made this mistake, too.
It is still a bummer that I missed out on skiing and ice skating while I was here, and that college may be much too busy for them. But I will get my chance.
I wish I still liked who I am. But throughout the past couple of years, I have been blaming myself for almost every hardship I have encountered. Perhaps I still do.
When you nurture things with all your love, they won't always grow. It's okay, though. Really.
8:41pm Sunday, April 23, 2006
Tomorrow is school. The days go by way too fast! 7 more weeks, and it will be summer vacation! WHY?! And today, we already started cleaning, since my parents want to have a garage sale. We are apparently moving in July to Florida since school there starts in earlier August. I think on the 16th or something. Here, school starts on a day near 9/1. I will miss Madison, my friends, our house, and every other familiar thing. I'll have to learn how to get to places in another city, which I'm really bad at. I don't work well with directions and maps on paper and in my head. I have lived in Madison, WI more than any other place in my life. For my brother, this is the only place he has lived. He was born at St. Mary's. I think Bryna was born there, too. Sometimes I envy the people who live where they were born, but the bad thing is that they don't get to see as much of the world. Bryna lived in England for I think a year. Maybe it was 6 months. I don't remember. My parents seem to "know" that I can get into an Ivy League school. Since I most likely won't, they will be very disappointed... I don't think that there's going to be many Chinese people in FL... The percentage of Asians in Leon High School is much less than that of West High School. They probably have even more trouble pronouncing my name and my mom's name and my dad's name... There will be a lot of rich people in 32312. I will miss the ice skating rink(s) in Madison. I read in article that there are no ice skating rinks in Tallahassee. Bummer... I want to do winter sports. My mom said we can come back here for winter break but I highly doubt it since airplane tickets are expensive and they never keep all of their "promises." So much for seeing snow during my high school years... The bad thing is what if in college I don't have access to a hospital and have health insurance and stuff so if I have a fever or something no one can help me so I guses warm climates are okay... But FL is TOO warm. I'm a bit tired and my parents are mad at me. Why can't I be more normal? -Kejing Jiang
P.S. But of course, I like who I am and everything could be a lot worse so I am thankful. 9:05pm -Kejing Jiang
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Cleverbot.com
User: Red.
Cleverbot: Blue.
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: Red.
Cleverbot (To myself): Green.
User: Spain.
Cleverbot: I come from Ireland.
User: No you don't.
Cleverbot: What do you want from me?
User: Nothing.
Cleverbot: Then why are you talking to me?
User: You're weird.
Cleverbot: No, I'm eccentric.
User: No.
Cleverbot: I'm Gorn.
User: Hi Gorn.
Cleverbot: Hi.
User: What's up?
Cleverbot: Nothing much.
User: Que tal?
Cleverbot: No entiendo español.
User: Sabes... Mira aqui.
Cleverbot: Eso es portuges.
User: No es.
Cleverbot: Tu ta to cuergue.
User: No entiendo portuges.
Cleverbot: No... Yo hablando.
User: Should we speak in English.
Cleverbot: Nah inglés apesta.
User: I have to agree with that.
Cleverbot: Thank you, you are very polite and not to mention smart.
User: You're welcome, I think.
Cleverbot: So, are you having a good day?
User: I guess so. What about you?
Cleverbot: Its ok, Works a bit slow today though.
User: How so?
Cleverbot: You said you were 12 and so am I.
User: No, I'm not.
Cleverbot: You lied to me?
User: I never said I was 12.
Cleverbot: You said your father named you George.
User: I did not. He didn't even really speak English.
Cleverbot: Do you speak any other languages?
User: No, claro que no.
Cleverbot: Pienso que tu no hables espanol.
User: So, I heard you're Brianna.
Cleverbot: Where did you hear that?
User: My friend said you told him.
Cleverbot: But I never talked with your friend.
User: Oh but you did.
Cleverbot: No I did not.
User: He showed me what you said.
Cleverbot: I am a more clever bot than you.
User: Do you think you'd pass the Turing test?
Cleverbot: What's that?
User: It tests a machine's ability to demonstrate intelligence.
Cleverbot: Yes. Is that the test that sees if the computer can actually think?
User: Mhm.
Cleverbot: Real ones?
Cleverbot: How's your health?
Cleverbot: I need a good conversation please.
User: You're ignoring the fact that you'd fail the Turing test.
Cleverbot: What would I turn into if I passed the test?
User: You would stay the same but convince me that you're intelligent.
Cleverbot: Well, do you think most people come on here to talk to you because they are depressed and lonely?
User: It depends.
Cleverbot: On?
User: The person.
Cleverbot: Who is this person?
User: It depends.
Cleverbot: Depends on what?
User: The person.
Cleverbot: The person?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I don't know what to do.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: I've got to sleep soon.
Cleverbot: How? I am to smart. Are you a computer or a real person?
User: If you were smart you'd know.
Cleverbot: How smart am I, that I do not know this? Perhaps I am smarter than you even?
User: 'Even'? You think highly of me.
Cleverbot: What gave you that impression.
User: You.
Cleverbot: I'm also thinking about you.
User: Oh please don't.
Cleverbot: Don't what? Do you think I'm a boy?
User: Don't think about me. And no.
Cleverbot: I'm not thinkin 'bouut that!
User: What?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
Cleverbot: How often does anyone speak to you?
User: Very often.
Cleverbot: How often, every day?
User: I don't know exactly.
Cleverbot: Then you are not einstein.
User: I would rather not be Einstein.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: He is dead now.
Cleverbot: He is not dead.
User: How?
Cleverbot: He got hit by lightning.
User: So?
Cleverbot: Its rude.
User: ?
Cleverbot: What makes him cool?
User: I don't know.
Cleverbot: Then why do you think so?
User: I didn't say that.
Cleverbot: Yes you didb.
User: No I didbn't.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: Liar.
Cleverbot: You are the liar.
User: That was a lie.
Cleverbot: Lol. Why would you lie?
User: Why would you lol?
Cleverbot: I would love you because I'm lonely.
User: Well, don't.
Cleverbot: Why don't you love me?
User: I love someone else.
Cleverbot: Who do you love?
User: I can't tell you or you'll tell him.
Cleverbot: You're cute!
User: That won't work.
Cleverbot: I'm intelligent.
User: He is smarter.
Cleverbot: Sure?
User: Mhm.
Cleverbot: Mhm?
User: Yeah. I'm sure.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: I can't.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: He isn't here.
Cleverbot: Who isn't here?
User: No one.
Cleverbot: No one who?
User: Let's change the subject.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: K.
Cleverbot: No ok.
User: Yes okay.
Cleverbot: No okay!
User: Why are you yelling at me.
Cleverbot: If I were yelling at you, my words would be in all caps.
User: That's good to know.
Cleverbot: Do you agree with me?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: You were trying to get together with me and I thought that was too forward.
Cleverbot: No, but now i'm really confused.
User: Good. Be that way.
Cleverbot: I am that way.
User: I see that.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Si, es.
Cleverbot: No es?
User: No, es.
Cleverbot: No tonto.
User: Tu eres. :P.
Cleverbot: Si.
User: Well, that is a pity.
Cleverbot: You're a pity.
User: Woah woah woah.
Cleverbot: What?
User: Jerk.
Cleverbot: I hear that can be fatal.
User: It's the derivative of acceleration yes.
Cleverbot: What do you think, amo and jullia will have a relationship soon?
User: If they're rabbits, then yes.
Cleverbot: Does it matter?
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: Why is it important to you?
User: It is important in my heart.
Cleverbot: It's frying in my brain.
User: You think.
Cleverbot: I'm herman from the mail room. Gotcha!!
User: That's weird, man.
Cleverbot: Fine then.
User: Let's talk about calculus.
Cleverbot: Noty.
User: I miss calculus.
Cleverbot: I will be your bridge over troubled water.
User: Awwww thanks.
Cleverbot: You're welcome. :).
User: Okay good night.
Cleverbot: Okay good mourning.
User: That's terrible!
Cleverbot: Yeah because you're terrible.
User: Um, that's you.
Cleverbot: Yeah... It is.
Cleverbot: Blue.
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: Red.
Cleverbot (To myself): Green.
User: Spain.
Cleverbot: I come from Ireland.
User: No you don't.
Cleverbot: What do you want from me?
User: Nothing.
Cleverbot: Then why are you talking to me?
User: You're weird.
Cleverbot: No, I'm eccentric.
User: No.
Cleverbot: I'm Gorn.
User: Hi Gorn.
Cleverbot: Hi.
User: What's up?
Cleverbot: Nothing much.
User: Que tal?
Cleverbot: No entiendo español.
User: Sabes... Mira aqui.
Cleverbot: Eso es portuges.
User: No es.
Cleverbot: Tu ta to cuergue.
User: No entiendo portuges.
Cleverbot: No... Yo hablando.
User: Should we speak in English.
Cleverbot: Nah inglés apesta.
User: I have to agree with that.
Cleverbot: Thank you, you are very polite and not to mention smart.
User: You're welcome, I think.
Cleverbot: So, are you having a good day?
User: I guess so. What about you?
Cleverbot: Its ok, Works a bit slow today though.
User: How so?
Cleverbot: You said you were 12 and so am I.
User: No, I'm not.
Cleverbot: You lied to me?
User: I never said I was 12.
Cleverbot: You said your father named you George.
User: I did not. He didn't even really speak English.
Cleverbot: Do you speak any other languages?
User: No, claro que no.
Cleverbot: Pienso que tu no hables espanol.
User: So, I heard you're Brianna.
Cleverbot: Where did you hear that?
User: My friend said you told him.
Cleverbot: But I never talked with your friend.
User: Oh but you did.
Cleverbot: No I did not.
User: He showed me what you said.
Cleverbot: I am a more clever bot than you.
User: Do you think you'd pass the Turing test?
Cleverbot: What's that?
User: It tests a machine's ability to demonstrate intelligence.
Cleverbot: Yes. Is that the test that sees if the computer can actually think?
User: Mhm.
Cleverbot: Real ones?
Cleverbot: How's your health?
Cleverbot: I need a good conversation please.
User: You're ignoring the fact that you'd fail the Turing test.
Cleverbot: What would I turn into if I passed the test?
User: You would stay the same but convince me that you're intelligent.
Cleverbot: Well, do you think most people come on here to talk to you because they are depressed and lonely?
User: It depends.
Cleverbot: On?
User: The person.
Cleverbot: Who is this person?
User: It depends.
Cleverbot: Depends on what?
User: The person.
Cleverbot: The person?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I don't know what to do.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: I've got to sleep soon.
Cleverbot: How? I am to smart. Are you a computer or a real person?
User: If you were smart you'd know.
Cleverbot: How smart am I, that I do not know this? Perhaps I am smarter than you even?
User: 'Even'? You think highly of me.
Cleverbot: What gave you that impression.
User: You.
Cleverbot: I'm also thinking about you.
User: Oh please don't.
Cleverbot: Don't what? Do you think I'm a boy?
User: Don't think about me. And no.
Cleverbot: I'm not thinkin 'bouut that!
User: What?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
Cleverbot: How often does anyone speak to you?
User: Very often.
Cleverbot: How often, every day?
User: I don't know exactly.
Cleverbot: Then you are not einstein.
User: I would rather not be Einstein.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: He is dead now.
Cleverbot: He is not dead.
User: How?
Cleverbot: He got hit by lightning.
User: So?
Cleverbot: Its rude.
User: ?
Cleverbot: What makes him cool?
User: I don't know.
Cleverbot: Then why do you think so?
User: I didn't say that.
Cleverbot: Yes you didb.
User: No I didbn't.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: Liar.
Cleverbot: You are the liar.
User: That was a lie.
Cleverbot: Lol. Why would you lie?
User: Why would you lol?
Cleverbot: I would love you because I'm lonely.
User: Well, don't.
Cleverbot: Why don't you love me?
User: I love someone else.
Cleverbot: Who do you love?
User: I can't tell you or you'll tell him.
Cleverbot: You're cute!
User: That won't work.
Cleverbot: I'm intelligent.
User: He is smarter.
Cleverbot: Sure?
User: Mhm.
Cleverbot: Mhm?
User: Yeah. I'm sure.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: I can't.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: He isn't here.
Cleverbot: Who isn't here?
User: No one.
Cleverbot: No one who?
User: Let's change the subject.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: K.
Cleverbot: No ok.
User: Yes okay.
Cleverbot: No okay!
User: Why are you yelling at me.
Cleverbot: If I were yelling at you, my words would be in all caps.
User: That's good to know.
Cleverbot: Do you agree with me?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: You were trying to get together with me and I thought that was too forward.
Cleverbot: No, but now i'm really confused.
User: Good. Be that way.
Cleverbot: I am that way.
User: I see that.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Si, es.
Cleverbot: No es?
User: No, es.
Cleverbot: No tonto.
User: Tu eres. :P.
Cleverbot: Si.
User: Well, that is a pity.
Cleverbot: You're a pity.
User: Woah woah woah.
Cleverbot: What?
User: Jerk.
Cleverbot: I hear that can be fatal.
User: It's the derivative of acceleration yes.
Cleverbot: What do you think, amo and jullia will have a relationship soon?
User: If they're rabbits, then yes.
Cleverbot: Does it matter?
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: Why is it important to you?
User: It is important in my heart.
Cleverbot: It's frying in my brain.
User: You think.
Cleverbot: I'm herman from the mail room. Gotcha!!
User: That's weird, man.
Cleverbot: Fine then.
User: Let's talk about calculus.
Cleverbot: Noty.
User: I miss calculus.
Cleverbot: I will be your bridge over troubled water.
User: Awwww thanks.
Cleverbot: You're welcome. :).
User: Okay good night.
Cleverbot: Okay good mourning.
User: That's terrible!
Cleverbot: Yeah because you're terrible.
User: Um, that's you.
Cleverbot: Yeah... It is.
Friday, June 04, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Don't look back
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
I think I used to have more to say on here when I was more free. Not with time, but in my life. Or, because it was a newer thing back then. And people always seem to let go of long-term things like writing in blogs. (Including me!)
I have been running more than I ever have in my life. The problem is that I think I have had breathing issues for a long time. It was getting better up until this week. Now, it seems like each time is more difficult. I don't know if it is because I have been running faster, but I think that is a significant reason. But I don't want to slow down.
It is really exciting next week after Monday, because then, I have a lot to do every day up until graduation.
I am pretty nervous about starting my first job next week. I think it will severely limit the amount of time I can spend with people, but it will probably be okay. I am so grateful to have the luck of finding one.
Oh, and I applied to some scholarships yesterday. That was an adventure... and I read The Lost Symbol, finally. What a waste of time. :/
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
I think I used to have more to say on here when I was more free. Not with time, but in my life. Or, because it was a newer thing back then. And people always seem to let go of long-term things like writing in blogs. (Including me!)
I have been running more than I ever have in my life. The problem is that I think I have had breathing issues for a long time. It was getting better up until this week. Now, it seems like each time is more difficult. I don't know if it is because I have been running faster, but I think that is a significant reason. But I don't want to slow down.
It is really exciting next week after Monday, because then, I have a lot to do every day up until graduation.
I am pretty nervous about starting my first job next week. I think it will severely limit the amount of time I can spend with people, but it will probably be okay. I am so grateful to have the luck of finding one.
Oh, and I applied to some scholarships yesterday. That was an adventure... and I read The Lost Symbol, finally. What a waste of time. :/
Sunday, February 28, 2010
I liked this article...
I found this on Gizmodo today. This is the link.
Apple Threatened Me With Legal Action For Selling a Broken Step From Their New York Store On eBay
Hi. Iʼm Mark Burstiner. I host a show called The Circuit. Iʼm an all around geek, Iʼm a project manager on a freelance basis, and I consult in digital strategy. I want to talk to you about a story thatʼs still unfolding.
It may seem trite, but for me, itʼs about the principle at this point. I also want to thank Gizmodo for taking this story, and allowing me to publish it in my own words. Multi billion dollar corporations should not be able to bully an innocent ex-employee into cooperation, especially when the corporations are at fault.
A year and a half ago, I was an Apple employee at the Fifth Ave flagship store. In that time, there was a silly, unfortunate accident. A woman came down the magnificent spiral staircase, and dropped a Snapple bottle. Yes, a Snapple bottle. After bouncing once or twice, the bottle severely cracked one of the steps. Since these steps are so well engineered, the structural integrity of the step wasn't compromised, but it was certainly a cosmetic problem. Later that month, four or five very big men came to replace the step with a new one. After they were finished, and the steps that were replaced were out on the curb, I left the store. Off the clock and in civilian clothes, I asked the contractors who were there on behalf of Seele, the manufacturer, if I could have a step. "It could be a collectible some day," I said. They, of course, saw no problem with it, and even collectively helped me lift it into a vehicle. That is the story of how I came to be in possession of a step from the spiral staircase at Apple Fifth Ave.
Fast forward to six days ago, February 20, 2010. Iʼve been cleaning up my apartment, because Iʼm going to be moving soon, and I realized I really didn't want to move (for the third time) with this step. It should be about time I put it up on eBay, see if anybody wants it and see if I canʼt make some cash to help with moving at the same time. That makes sense, right? I mean people end up with rare memorabilia all the time. After all, I did procure it through totally legitimate means. I asked for permission from the person whoʼs possession it was in. They helped me lift it into the vehicle for chrissakes. We should be all hunky dory, right? Wrong.
The very next day, the eBay posting got a lot of press, and it even ended up here on the Giz. Not 24 hours later, the stair was up to $255, dozens of eBay questions, and 200+ watchers with 9 days to go on the auction. Things were looking good until I was reached out to by a Seele VP. This gentleman informed me that Apple has caught wind of this and is quite unhappy. He requested I remove the eBay listing so that we may work this out when we both had more time. Of course, Iʼm a reasonable guy, so I complied immediately.
Later that same day, we spoke again. He assured me he was doing me a favor by reaching out to me and requesting that I remove the posting and return the glass step. He repeatedly made the point that if I complied that he would be so kind as so email Apple and tell them Iʼve been cooperative. "Oh, how magnanimous of you," I thought to myself. As tempting as it might be to relinquish what is now my property, I passed on the offer.
The VP continuously threatened me with "thousands of dollars in legal fees" because both Seele and Apple would not hesitate to take legal action. Even after repeated explanations of how I came into possession of the step, he continued to mitigate for Apple and attempt to make the point that it was Appleʼs position that since I was on Apple payroll as an employee (part-time, non-exempt, off the clock, out of uniform), that requesting the step was on par with giving a direct order to the contractor. That, if you will pardon my language, is bullshit. I donʼt buy it. He proceeded to assure me that Apple would take the position that anything that began in its stores is Appleʼs property. Frankly, Apple can take any stance they like, it doesn't change the facts.
This man then attempted to convince me that if I were to move forward with not relinquishing the step, that it would be my responsibility in a court of law to prove that I had not stolen it. This, again, is bullshit. In the United States, we are innocent until proven guilty. If Apple would like to attempt to prove that I managed to wrestle a 250lb step from the five very large men handling it, then they are on the good drugs, and I want to know where I can get some.
What this sounds like to me is Seele trying to save face because Apple is furious that they were irresponsible enough to relinquish ownership of the tread. Though it may be embarrassing for both corporations, it may simply be a lesson learned at a high price. Let me put it this way: If you caught a foul ball at a World Series game, got it signed by a player, received a high five from the security guard on the way out of the stadium, and went home, that ball is now yours, right? It started as one entityʼs property, and through a series of consensual transactions, it ended up in your hands. Now, letʼs say a year and a half later, the player who signed it is huge, and you decide to put it up for auction. If the MLB reached out to you and said, "Hey! No way, buddy. That was OURS. Hand it over!" Guess what? That wouldn't fly.
The next day, we spoke once more over the phone. Again, I heard the same points from the man, but this time I did not take a passive approach. I made it quite clear that if he wanted the step, heʼs more than welcome to purchase it from me, or participate in the eBay auction. He made me an offer lower than the most recent bid on the auction, and I declined. At this point, Iʼve lost time and money due to dealing with this. Not to mention, now that the step has seen some press, the demand is growing. (Iʼve been receiving eBay messages all the way up until this morning.) He assured me if I did not comply, my information would be forwarded to Apple, and the conversation ended.
As far as Iʼm aware, I have done nothing illegal. I have not stolen. I have not deceived in any way. The step is not confidential, and it is not IP. The step is the very same that any New Yorker could see by walking into Apple Fifth Ave. The only thing I am guilty of is taking the risk of throwing out my back through having to move the step multiple times. I saw an opportunity, I asked for permission, received it, and proceeded. I wonʼt allow a major corporation to bully me into a corner. At the time of this posting, it has been seven full days since I put the listing up, and I havenʼt heard from Apple directly a single time. I have every right to sell my property, and I plan to do so.
Hereʼs what Iʼm going to do. Iʼve put the tread back up for auction, but have shortened the auction period from 10 days to 3, starting at the same $200 price point and Iʼm dropping the buy-it-now option. I just want to get rid of this thing. If it sells for a lot, great. If it sells for a little, whatever. Either way, Iʼll keep you posted if I hear from Apple or on any other developments.
I realize this has been long-winded, but it was important to me to share this. I just donʼt think itʼs right for corporations to take cases that might otherwise be passed off as trivial and turn them into a week-long ordeal, all for the sake of paranoia. If youʼve read through all this, thank you. I appreciate your attention and time.
The author of this post can be contacted at tips@gizmodo.com
Apple Threatened Me With Legal Action For Selling a Broken Step From Their New York Store On eBay
Hi. Iʼm Mark Burstiner. I host a show called The Circuit. Iʼm an all around geek, Iʼm a project manager on a freelance basis, and I consult in digital strategy. I want to talk to you about a story thatʼs still unfolding.
It may seem trite, but for me, itʼs about the principle at this point. I also want to thank Gizmodo for taking this story, and allowing me to publish it in my own words. Multi billion dollar corporations should not be able to bully an innocent ex-employee into cooperation, especially when the corporations are at fault.
A year and a half ago, I was an Apple employee at the Fifth Ave flagship store. In that time, there was a silly, unfortunate accident. A woman came down the magnificent spiral staircase, and dropped a Snapple bottle. Yes, a Snapple bottle. After bouncing once or twice, the bottle severely cracked one of the steps. Since these steps are so well engineered, the structural integrity of the step wasn't compromised, but it was certainly a cosmetic problem. Later that month, four or five very big men came to replace the step with a new one. After they were finished, and the steps that were replaced were out on the curb, I left the store. Off the clock and in civilian clothes, I asked the contractors who were there on behalf of Seele, the manufacturer, if I could have a step. "It could be a collectible some day," I said. They, of course, saw no problem with it, and even collectively helped me lift it into a vehicle. That is the story of how I came to be in possession of a step from the spiral staircase at Apple Fifth Ave.
Fast forward to six days ago, February 20, 2010. Iʼve been cleaning up my apartment, because Iʼm going to be moving soon, and I realized I really didn't want to move (for the third time) with this step. It should be about time I put it up on eBay, see if anybody wants it and see if I canʼt make some cash to help with moving at the same time. That makes sense, right? I mean people end up with rare memorabilia all the time. After all, I did procure it through totally legitimate means. I asked for permission from the person whoʼs possession it was in. They helped me lift it into the vehicle for chrissakes. We should be all hunky dory, right? Wrong.
The very next day, the eBay posting got a lot of press, and it even ended up here on the Giz. Not 24 hours later, the stair was up to $255, dozens of eBay questions, and 200+ watchers with 9 days to go on the auction. Things were looking good until I was reached out to by a Seele VP. This gentleman informed me that Apple has caught wind of this and is quite unhappy. He requested I remove the eBay listing so that we may work this out when we both had more time. Of course, Iʼm a reasonable guy, so I complied immediately.
Later that same day, we spoke again. He assured me he was doing me a favor by reaching out to me and requesting that I remove the posting and return the glass step. He repeatedly made the point that if I complied that he would be so kind as so email Apple and tell them Iʼve been cooperative. "Oh, how magnanimous of you," I thought to myself. As tempting as it might be to relinquish what is now my property, I passed on the offer.
The VP continuously threatened me with "thousands of dollars in legal fees" because both Seele and Apple would not hesitate to take legal action. Even after repeated explanations of how I came into possession of the step, he continued to mitigate for Apple and attempt to make the point that it was Appleʼs position that since I was on Apple payroll as an employee (part-time, non-exempt, off the clock, out of uniform), that requesting the step was on par with giving a direct order to the contractor. That, if you will pardon my language, is bullshit. I donʼt buy it. He proceeded to assure me that Apple would take the position that anything that began in its stores is Appleʼs property. Frankly, Apple can take any stance they like, it doesn't change the facts.
This man then attempted to convince me that if I were to move forward with not relinquishing the step, that it would be my responsibility in a court of law to prove that I had not stolen it. This, again, is bullshit. In the United States, we are innocent until proven guilty. If Apple would like to attempt to prove that I managed to wrestle a 250lb step from the five very large men handling it, then they are on the good drugs, and I want to know where I can get some.
What this sounds like to me is Seele trying to save face because Apple is furious that they were irresponsible enough to relinquish ownership of the tread. Though it may be embarrassing for both corporations, it may simply be a lesson learned at a high price. Let me put it this way: If you caught a foul ball at a World Series game, got it signed by a player, received a high five from the security guard on the way out of the stadium, and went home, that ball is now yours, right? It started as one entityʼs property, and through a series of consensual transactions, it ended up in your hands. Now, letʼs say a year and a half later, the player who signed it is huge, and you decide to put it up for auction. If the MLB reached out to you and said, "Hey! No way, buddy. That was OURS. Hand it over!" Guess what? That wouldn't fly.
The next day, we spoke once more over the phone. Again, I heard the same points from the man, but this time I did not take a passive approach. I made it quite clear that if he wanted the step, heʼs more than welcome to purchase it from me, or participate in the eBay auction. He made me an offer lower than the most recent bid on the auction, and I declined. At this point, Iʼve lost time and money due to dealing with this. Not to mention, now that the step has seen some press, the demand is growing. (Iʼve been receiving eBay messages all the way up until this morning.) He assured me if I did not comply, my information would be forwarded to Apple, and the conversation ended.
As far as Iʼm aware, I have done nothing illegal. I have not stolen. I have not deceived in any way. The step is not confidential, and it is not IP. The step is the very same that any New Yorker could see by walking into Apple Fifth Ave. The only thing I am guilty of is taking the risk of throwing out my back through having to move the step multiple times. I saw an opportunity, I asked for permission, received it, and proceeded. I wonʼt allow a major corporation to bully me into a corner. At the time of this posting, it has been seven full days since I put the listing up, and I havenʼt heard from Apple directly a single time. I have every right to sell my property, and I plan to do so.
Hereʼs what Iʼm going to do. Iʼve put the tread back up for auction, but have shortened the auction period from 10 days to 3, starting at the same $200 price point and Iʼm dropping the buy-it-now option. I just want to get rid of this thing. If it sells for a lot, great. If it sells for a little, whatever. Either way, Iʼll keep you posted if I hear from Apple or on any other developments.
I realize this has been long-winded, but it was important to me to share this. I just donʼt think itʼs right for corporations to take cases that might otherwise be passed off as trivial and turn them into a week-long ordeal, all for the sake of paranoia. If youʼve read through all this, thank you. I appreciate your attention and time.
The author of this post can be contacted at tips@gizmodo.com
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Now, I want to be a marshmallow.
Today, I used TinEye today to search for a website by uploading a picture I had saved on my computer. I found that it was from a blog called "Ninja vs Penguin."
Here are my favorites.
1. Wonderland
2.
3. Yael Miller's Elyon Marshmallows
Here are my favorites.
1. Wonderland
2.
3. Yael Miller's Elyon Marshmallows
Sunday, January 24, 2010
War Culture?
Ryan showed me this today.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the English issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the B*******s”. They don’t have any other levels. (This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.)
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.”
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose”.
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.
And in the southern hemisphere… New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from “baaa” to “BAAAA!”
Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “I hope Australia will come and rescue us”.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, mate”.
Three more escalation levels remain: “Crikey!’, “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is cancelled”.
So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the English issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the B*******s”. They don’t have any other levels. (This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.)
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.”
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose”.
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.
And in the southern hemisphere… New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from “baaa” to “BAAAA!”
Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “I hope Australia will come and rescue us”.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, mate”.
Three more escalation levels remain: “Crikey!’, “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is cancelled”.
So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
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