- talking to a new brother in Christ about how radically He is changing our lives
- speaking to parents on the phone
- Obama quoting 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 as he spoke to Newtown
- starting a weekly prayer meeting at work
- hearing about prayer for revival on campus
- the civil engineering firm
- surveying such majestic beauty in DC
- God inventing ice skating, Bon Chon, and mochi ice cream and letting us have at it all in one evening
- Tufts Med School accepting a brother so quickly
- really good Mexican food
- meeting a middle school student who was ridiculously frightened at starting school in America, spending five evenings a week with him, watching him learn, and leaving knowing that he is going to be absolutely fine next semester
- looking forward to running and tennis all of winter break, playing in the sun
- hearing from an old friend's little sister that my brother got a 1st place math trophy
- going to a sermon entirely about God's love
- watching Lost in Translation
- visiting school for a weekend
- talking on the phone about God and civil engineering for quite a long time
- marveling at Boston's night skyline from the top of a high school roof, for work (though it was so cold)
- spending much of a day emailing friends, telling them how precious and loved they are
- when a Korean mom made us breakfast for a few days
- a supervisor who firmly believes in self-sacrifice
- smiling at strangers or telling them when the bus is going to come or that it has just arrived around the corner so they can sprint over (hopefully) in time
- listening to hipster worship music at church
- really comfortable Clarks heels
- listening to Francis Chan's sermon, The Biggest Lie In Your Life, and this before going to sleep
- having a cell phone that can check email and take pictures and everything
- Google making a maps app
- the T
- finding that our alumni really are everywhere and eager to help
- experiencing a power outage at P&G/Gillette (which wasn't exactly fun but I did wonder what the robots that drive themselves would do if they had to stop)
- feeling so small in Boston's beautiful business district
- trying out the cutest, most economical little sushi shop
- a Yale a capella concert in which they bashed Harvard
- visiting the Museum of Fine Arts
- spending Fall Break basically just eating food with friends, so much that we only went to important landmarks in order to find more food
- getting to thank God in all of these moments and falling deeper in love with Him every day
Sunday, December 16, 2012
This semester's good fun, highly abridged
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Prayer Request
In my entire life, I have seen a total of I think two Korean drama movie things. I think they were movies, not dramas. From what I know, they are typically (I think) ridiculously emotional and rather unrealistic. But they really seem to get people's attention... given how many people enjoy them regularly, which may or may not be a bad thing.
The one on my mind is a rather popular one. I don't remember what it is called, but this guy meets a girl who later gets Alzheimer's and starts to forget him. This gets pretty sad because when she realizes that she is losing her memory, she becomes desperate. She writes hundreds of reminder notes around the house. She holds onto him and cries because she doesn't know when she will remember him again. The thing she wants, above everything else, is to keep remembering and loving him.
Unfortunately, I am experiencing a situation like this.
In the time I have met and gotten to know Jesus more, I have never experienced such a bad attack of what I am calling, a spiritual Alzheimer's.
It's been so clear that Jesus is truly God. Every time I ask Him to reveal Himself, He has practically and/or literally been right in front of my face. Over and over again, every time I lose faith, He shows me so clearly that He IS real, that He is not too good to be true, that He died for every single person who ever lived and who ever is to live. I know I'm not crazy because there is an enormous cloud of witnesses who also have stories about Him.
But I keep forgetting and then living as though I don't know this at all. Every now and then, I remember again and desperately try to hold onto the truth. Then I forget again.
In the moments that I do remember, I try to do everything I can to hold on, to remember, to not let go of Him. I write to Him, I talk to Him, listen to Him, promise to Him, cry to Him, fall in love with Him, and share His love. I talk to other people about Him, I listen to other people talk about Him. I worship Him.
Right now, I think I'm about to forget again, and I don't know when I will remember again. I'm so scared.
Please pray for me.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 ESV)
The one on my mind is a rather popular one. I don't remember what it is called, but this guy meets a girl who later gets Alzheimer's and starts to forget him. This gets pretty sad because when she realizes that she is losing her memory, she becomes desperate. She writes hundreds of reminder notes around the house. She holds onto him and cries because she doesn't know when she will remember him again. The thing she wants, above everything else, is to keep remembering and loving him.
Unfortunately, I am experiencing a situation like this.
In the time I have met and gotten to know Jesus more, I have never experienced such a bad attack of what I am calling, a spiritual Alzheimer's.
It's been so clear that Jesus is truly God. Every time I ask Him to reveal Himself, He has practically and/or literally been right in front of my face. Over and over again, every time I lose faith, He shows me so clearly that He IS real, that He is not too good to be true, that He died for every single person who ever lived and who ever is to live. I know I'm not crazy because there is an enormous cloud of witnesses who also have stories about Him.
But I keep forgetting and then living as though I don't know this at all. Every now and then, I remember again and desperately try to hold onto the truth. Then I forget again.
In the moments that I do remember, I try to do everything I can to hold on, to remember, to not let go of Him. I write to Him, I talk to Him, listen to Him, promise to Him, cry to Him, fall in love with Him, and share His love. I talk to other people about Him, I listen to other people talk about Him. I worship Him.
Right now, I think I'm about to forget again, and I don't know when I will remember again. I'm so scared.
Please pray for me.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 ESV)
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Note to self: I am in love with You
But hey, I'm slipping away, here.
Don't forget that God revealed Himself (Deuteronomy 4:29), and looking back, that ALL of these moments are biblical.
Nature (Nehemiah 9:6)
The angel's touch (Daniel 10:10)
A friend's word of knowledge about a great fear (Hebrews 2:14-15)
Being dressed and prepared as His bride (Revelation 19:6-10)
Jesus's confirmation about Heaven (John 17:3)
Being transformed into royalty (Romans 8:15-17)
Crying for the lost (Romans 9:1-3)
Angels battling and wrestling demons on the beach (2 Kings 6:16)
God's tangible presence during worship, prayer (James 4:8)
I am so weak, so forgetful; God is good.
Listening now: A Little Longer - Brian & Jenn Johnson
Listening now: A Little Longer - Brian & Jenn Johnson
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
I cried out to God and He answered.
This morning, I made some more progress in Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret (written by Howard and Geraldine Taylor, revised by Gwen Hanna) and came across this quote on page 84:
In great spiritual agony, I wandered out on the sands alone. And there the Lord conquered my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to God for this service. I told him that all the responsibility as to the issues and consequences must rest with him; that as his servant it was mine to obey and to follow him, his to direct, care for and guide me and those who might labor with me. Need I say that at once peace flowed into my burdened heart?
Hudson Taylor vocalizes this moment too well.
At this point in the story, he's currently doing some translation work in China, but desires aide for more missions work. For a while, he cannot see the power that will provide people who will come and stay. But as he contemplates the million a month who are dying without God, he prays. And then, the Spirit gives him peace.
I completely attest to the fact that the Holy Spirit does bring peace in this way. (Haha though my experience is not as intense as Taylor's because he was in China and praying for thousands, while I was in the comfort of Ithaca.)
Recently, I was praying for some younger friends who have been looking for Him. (I'll be vague here to maintain a level of privacy.) One of these friends asked me about going to a Christian event. As he became increasingly uncertain, I felt increasing agony. The Spirit said, "Ah man. My boy has just slipped out of my hands." But He didn't stop there because God is so powerful, and so patient. Because immediately afterwards, He said, "Don't worry. I'll take care of this and he'll come to me."
But I wasn't fully convinced, and God was still sad that my friend did not know Him. As I prayed more, I felt an increasing sadness, and cried... a cry that did not come from my heart, but from the Spirit. The power of this cry was enormous, far greater than I could understand or think to call my own. My soul yelled to Jesus, "Reveal Yourself to him!!! Let this child's journey glorify You! I will do anything, or nothing, whatever you ask. If I am to do nothing, I ask that the other Christians in his life would encourage him to walk after you. If it takes years, I know you are just writing this beautiful story in a way I cannot see. But God, please, please, please... let him know You."
As I washed away my tears and stepped away from the sink... so quickly, before I had noticed a change, the Spirit brought complete peace. This absence of worry was not numbness, but was healthy contentment. So I knew: God is in control.
My soul rested.
On another note, today marks the second time I've emailed back and forth with a stranger and by the third or so email they call me Kevin... which is actually my little brother's name! Happy birthday again, little one.
In great spiritual agony, I wandered out on the sands alone. And there the Lord conquered my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to God for this service. I told him that all the responsibility as to the issues and consequences must rest with him; that as his servant it was mine to obey and to follow him, his to direct, care for and guide me and those who might labor with me. Need I say that at once peace flowed into my burdened heart?
Hudson Taylor vocalizes this moment too well.
At this point in the story, he's currently doing some translation work in China, but desires aide for more missions work. For a while, he cannot see the power that will provide people who will come and stay. But as he contemplates the million a month who are dying without God, he prays. And then, the Spirit gives him peace.
I completely attest to the fact that the Holy Spirit does bring peace in this way. (Haha though my experience is not as intense as Taylor's because he was in China and praying for thousands, while I was in the comfort of Ithaca.)
Recently, I was praying for some younger friends who have been looking for Him. (I'll be vague here to maintain a level of privacy.) One of these friends asked me about going to a Christian event. As he became increasingly uncertain, I felt increasing agony. The Spirit said, "Ah man. My boy has just slipped out of my hands." But He didn't stop there because God is so powerful, and so patient. Because immediately afterwards, He said, "Don't worry. I'll take care of this and he'll come to me."
But I wasn't fully convinced, and God was still sad that my friend did not know Him. As I prayed more, I felt an increasing sadness, and cried... a cry that did not come from my heart, but from the Spirit. The power of this cry was enormous, far greater than I could understand or think to call my own. My soul yelled to Jesus, "Reveal Yourself to him!!! Let this child's journey glorify You! I will do anything, or nothing, whatever you ask. If I am to do nothing, I ask that the other Christians in his life would encourage him to walk after you. If it takes years, I know you are just writing this beautiful story in a way I cannot see. But God, please, please, please... let him know You."
As I washed away my tears and stepped away from the sink... so quickly, before I had noticed a change, the Spirit brought complete peace. This absence of worry was not numbness, but was healthy contentment. So I knew: God is in control.
My soul rested.
On another note, today marks the second time I've emailed back and forth with a stranger and by the third or so email they call me Kevin... which is actually my little brother's name! Happy birthday again, little one.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
What have I lost?
I'm saying this now because I feel like I've lost a lot recently.
... a friend.
... the mind battle against a particularly difficult test.
... the luxury of thinking fewer and simpler thoughts
... and turn off recurring ones.
... the freedom of reading for hours each summer day.
... time.
... a memento of my grandmother.
... interest in watching the telly.
... quite a few opportunities to create art.
... memories.
... files that I downloaded from Blackboard which have somehow disappeared from the folders in which I saved them.
... the sort of need to get married. (Haha. I don't think my spiritual mother approves of my jokes about celibacy... But really, it wouldn't be so bad!)
... joy in things of this world that surpass the joy experienced with Jesus
... the ability to stop eating all this White Rabbit creamy candy.
... trust.
... respect.
... security.
... homes. So many homes.
... the pride and privilege of having a Chinese citizenship.
... the fear of losing things.
Two points.
1. By losing these things, beautiful things have happened. With some bittersweet, some madly difficult, but a lot of beautiful.
2. I'm learning that things were never mine to own in the first place. Truly, I have the same before and now, in Him.
This is freeing.
Listening now: Lead Me To The Cross - Hillsong Live, Samson - Regina Spektor, Beginners Theme Suite - Beginners Soundtrack
... a friend.
... the mind battle against a particularly difficult test.
... the luxury of thinking fewer and simpler thoughts
... and turn off recurring ones.
... the freedom of reading for hours each summer day.
... time.
... a memento of my grandmother.
... interest in watching the telly.
... quite a few opportunities to create art.
... memories.
... files that I downloaded from Blackboard which have somehow disappeared from the folders in which I saved them.
... the sort of need to get married. (Haha. I don't think my spiritual mother approves of my jokes about celibacy... But really, it wouldn't be so bad!)
... joy in things of this world that surpass the joy experienced with Jesus
... the ability to stop eating all this White Rabbit creamy candy.
... trust.
... respect.
... security.
... homes. So many homes.
... the pride and privilege of having a Chinese citizenship.
... the fear of losing things.
Two points.
1. By losing these things, beautiful things have happened. With some bittersweet, some madly difficult, but a lot of beautiful.
2. I'm learning that things were never mine to own in the first place. Truly, I have the same before and now, in Him.
This is freeing.
Listening now: Lead Me To The Cross - Hillsong Live, Samson - Regina Spektor, Beginners Theme Suite - Beginners Soundtrack
Friday, June 01, 2012
To my childhood friend
Hi A. H.!
I don't know if you remember me anymore but that's okay, haha; we haven't talked for years!!
I wanted to say hello to you today because you are really important to me!
I remember when you were in 4th grade, I first met you. You were the first friend I had who said she was Christian, and you taught me how to pray in Jesus's name. That was the first time I ever thought about Christianity. You and your mom even invited my mom and I to church one day. At Sunday school, the teacher asked noticed that I was new and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" and I said "Yes," not really understanding what was going on. Then we read some of Revelations, which was pretty intense. Then, at lunch we had rice, bai chai and some sort of meat. You were scared because apparently there was a bat in the next room.
After fourth grade I didn't think much of Jesus until a couple of years ago.
But about a year ago, I started having love encounters with God. Since then my perspective has radically changed. Now I'm getting to know the Jesus who we innocently discussed about a decade ago. Everything about Him is so beautiful. His infinite love, patience, His angels, his Spirit...
So, I pray that He becomes even more important in our lives, soon and always.
Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day!
Love always,
Kejing
I don't know if you remember me anymore but that's okay, haha; we haven't talked for years!!
I wanted to say hello to you today because you are really important to me!
I remember when you were in 4th grade, I first met you. You were the first friend I had who said she was Christian, and you taught me how to pray in Jesus's name. That was the first time I ever thought about Christianity. You and your mom even invited my mom and I to church one day. At Sunday school, the teacher asked noticed that I was new and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" and I said "Yes," not really understanding what was going on. Then we read some of Revelations, which was pretty intense. Then, at lunch we had rice, bai chai and some sort of meat. You were scared because apparently there was a bat in the next room.
After fourth grade I didn't think much of Jesus until a couple of years ago.
But about a year ago, I started having love encounters with God. Since then my perspective has radically changed. Now I'm getting to know the Jesus who we innocently discussed about a decade ago. Everything about Him is so beautiful. His infinite love, patience, His angels, his Spirit...
So, I pray that He becomes even more important in our lives, soon and always.
Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day!
Love always,
Kejing
Monday, May 14, 2012
Bertrand Russell
Shoot! Bertrand Russell died in 1970.
I wanted to debate him. He wrote “Why I Am Not a Christian,” which is sometimes available as a pdf on DC++.
It’s very unconvincing.
---
Russell delivered this lecture on March 6, 1927 to the National Secular Society, South London Branch, at Battersea Town Hall. Published in pamphlet form in that same year, the essay subsequently achieved new fame with Paul Edwards’ edition of Russell’s book, Why I Am Not a Christian and Other Essays … (1957).
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Love from the Holy Spirit
Don't fret about impressing or being beautiful for any person. Be in love with God, who loves you no matter what. Be so in love with God that no worldly worries have weight in your decisions. Just rest in His presence and do what worldly things you can for His glory. Everything for the King of kings...
Monday, May 07, 2012
Tejal and Kejing's to-do list
2. go down to the gorges, wherever that is (1/2)
3. tunnel between Olin and Uris
5. go sailing if possible. Find out if possible.
7. BoatYard Grill (1/2)
9. see Denice Cassaro (1/2)
12. Fuertes Observatory (1/2)
15. attend an opening at the Johnson Museum of Art
16. see something at the Schwartz Center (1/2)
18. eat at Banfi's
19. trivia night
21. Cornell Cinema (1/2)
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Big Break & Evangelism
Almost everyone seemed to be glad about this trip. Some mentioned spiritual and character growth, good Christ-centered conversations with people on the beach, and new fellowships with each other.
I completely agree. All of these comments are true and of course fail to truly describe the incredible experience.
But at the same time, my heart was concerned.
1. The passion to evangelize will die down because we are going back to real life, where our task in leaving our home is not only to speak to people about Jesus, but also to do countless other things. To worry about other things. To think that maybe glorifying God is not our first priority. To think that maybe God is not our first priority, even though He is real and eternal.
2. As the trip was ending, we started playing more games of Mafia. When I am not sleepy I think this is a fantastic game. At night, someone on the bus said, "Christians like this game more than the average person because it's the only time they're allowed to lie." Then I started thinking... how much blatant lying and deceit takes place over events that are real and important? How easily does the devil gather people to be like him? How many demons sit around before angels shoo them away, just because we didn't pray?
Don't let the devil chuckle at his success.
Feel uneasy when you meet someone who doesn't know that God loves them, but glad that God is working hard and battling for that person! Don't ever believe or admit that you aren't "good enough" to talk about God. Keep praying and reading the Bible to hone and grow your discernment. Jesus is always with you, helping you, guiding you... and He is not a secret. He is enormously important!
I completely agree. All of these comments are true and of course fail to truly describe the incredible experience.
But at the same time, my heart was concerned.
1. The passion to evangelize will die down because we are going back to real life, where our task in leaving our home is not only to speak to people about Jesus, but also to do countless other things. To worry about other things. To think that maybe glorifying God is not our first priority. To think that maybe God is not our first priority, even though He is real and eternal.
2. As the trip was ending, we started playing more games of Mafia. When I am not sleepy I think this is a fantastic game. At night, someone on the bus said, "Christians like this game more than the average person because it's the only time they're allowed to lie." Then I started thinking... how much blatant lying and deceit takes place over events that are real and important? How easily does the devil gather people to be like him? How many demons sit around before angels shoo them away, just because we didn't pray?
Don't let the devil chuckle at his success.
Feel uneasy when you meet someone who doesn't know that God loves them, but glad that God is working hard and battling for that person! Don't ever believe or admit that you aren't "good enough" to talk about God. Keep praying and reading the Bible to hone and grow your discernment. Jesus is always with you, helping you, guiding you... and He is not a secret. He is enormously important!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
A Goal in Life
Conventionally, the media portrays the path to happiness as the American Dream, an ideal that touts wealth and material as the means to satisfaction. But since research has proven that happiness has no correlation with wealth in the absence of serious financial burden, this Dream is not the answer to finding happiness.
Similarly, our environment insists that love is a product of romance. These experiences are often most possible among people who are not too wrinkly, and people who are not "stuck" with just one other person. But for example, we often hear that a stable marriage is the way to go. (I agree.) For the many years when two people are married, proportionately little of their time together would be "passionate," but an enormous amount of time would be "friendly." They are best friends. So maybe conventional wisdom and hopes are not accurate for our lives. They most certainly are not accurate for mine.
Revert to the year 2000, when the world was ostensibly simple. Ask me what I want to be when I grow up. I'd say, just to be happy.
I let this change. It was not a matter of questioning the semantics of happiness, or a sign that I'd settle with depression. Happiness was not my ultimate goal.
But love - for God, my family, friends, everyone - is unquestionably most important to me. Like happiness, it can grow in response to hardship, and can exist in countless forms. And with age, we get to explore their depth. Their similarities are numerous, and their differences reveal the importance of love. I will describe some of their most obvious similarities in order to introduce the reason for my ultimate goal.
More on love...
Despite the notions that true happiness and love cannot be found the mainstream way, many of us are always looking for better possessions and more passion.
But this is not enough. Our worldly ventures are not fulfilling, lasting, or permanent.
Love exists on any level of happiness. Love can be both joyful and painful, one-sided or mutual.
Jesus said that the most important of the commandments is to love God, and the next important was to love your neighbors (Matthew 23:37-40). He is the most fulfilling, lasting and permanent love, and one-sided because He always loves us more.
Similarly, our environment insists that love is a product of romance. These experiences are often most possible among people who are not too wrinkly, and people who are not "stuck" with just one other person. But for example, we often hear that a stable marriage is the way to go. (I agree.) For the many years when two people are married, proportionately little of their time together would be "passionate," but an enormous amount of time would be "friendly." They are best friends. So maybe conventional wisdom and hopes are not accurate for our lives. They most certainly are not accurate for mine.
Revert to the year 2000, when the world was ostensibly simple. Ask me what I want to be when I grow up. I'd say, just to be happy.
I let this change. It was not a matter of questioning the semantics of happiness, or a sign that I'd settle with depression. Happiness was not my ultimate goal.
But love - for God, my family, friends, everyone - is unquestionably most important to me. Like happiness, it can grow in response to hardship, and can exist in countless forms. And with age, we get to explore their depth. Their similarities are numerous, and their differences reveal the importance of love. I will describe some of their most obvious similarities in order to introduce the reason for my ultimate goal.
More on love...
Despite the notions that true happiness and love cannot be found the mainstream way, many of us are always looking for better possessions and more passion.
But this is not enough. Our worldly ventures are not fulfilling, lasting, or permanent.
Love exists on any level of happiness. Love can be both joyful and painful, one-sided or mutual.
Jesus said that the most important of the commandments is to love God, and the next important was to love your neighbors (Matthew 23:37-40). He is the most fulfilling, lasting and permanent love, and one-sided because He always loves us more.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Another fun story from the Internet.
Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad ... ... ... ...
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH GOD
God: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed) God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad. Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today. God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad ... ... ... ...
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH GOD
God: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed) God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad. Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today. God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
Friday, February 10, 2012
Selfless.
Married or not… you should read this.
Marriage.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Source: somewhere on the Internet
Marriage.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Source: somewhere on the Internet
Monday, January 16, 2012
Personal concerns answered by a personal God
Homosexuality is just one of many other sins, such as blasphemy, pride, lack of faith, adultery, envy...But, Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit. (1 Peter 3:18)
This does not mean that we can say, "I can do anything since He will forgive me." For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:13-14)
No matter how indifferent we might act towards the God who sent down His son for us, He still loves, challenges, and pursues us. ...if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
This does not mean that we can say, "I can do anything since He will forgive me." For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:13-14)
No matter how indifferent we might act towards the God who sent down His son for us, He still loves, challenges, and pursues us. ...if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
Friday, January 13, 2012
July 7, 2005
Today, I found something my brother wrote a bit over a month before he turned 6.
[front] Kevin's wash list. I wash a Lego. I wash a Bionicle. I wash a flower. I wash a hot weele
[back] I wash a Llnle [journal]. Kevin
Soon afterwards he learned how to spell "wish."
I am glad to know that these days, he is satisfied with what he already has.
Also... Recently I typed "twi" in the Chrome omnibar, in attempt to visit Twitter.com, only to press Enter as if on auto-pilot. This is how I found the "Twilight Addict Support Group (Twi Anon)" on Facebook.
[front] Kevin's wash list. I wash a Lego. I wash a Bionicle. I wash a flower. I wash a hot weele
[back] I wash a Llnle [journal]. Kevin
Soon afterwards he learned how to spell "wish."
I am glad to know that these days, he is satisfied with what he already has.
Also... Recently I typed "twi" in the Chrome omnibar, in attempt to visit Twitter.com, only to press Enter as if on auto-pilot. This is how I found the "Twilight Addict Support Group (Twi Anon)" on Facebook.
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