On Top

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Remember Rio and get down
It's another DJ, it's another town
She's been trying to tell me to hold tight
But I've been waiting this whole night
But I've been down across the road or two
But now I've found the velvet sun
That shines on me and you

In the back, uh huh, I can't crack
We're on top
It's just a shimmy and a shack, uh huh
I can't fake, we're on top
We're on top

The day is breaking, we're still here
Your body's shaking, and it's clear
You really need it, so let go
And let me beat it, but you know

That I've been down across the road or two
But now I've found the velvet sun
That shines on me and you

In the back, uh huh, I can't crack
We're on top
It's just a shimmy and a shack, uh huh
I can't fake, we're on top
We're on top
We bring the bump to the grind, uh huh
I don't mind, we're on top
It's just a shimmy and a shack, uh huh
I can't fake, we're on top
We're on top

And we don't mean to satisfy tonight
So get your eyes off my bride tonight
Cause I don't need to satisfy tonight

It's like a cigarette in the mouth
Or a handshake in the doorway
I look at you and smile because I'm fine

And we don't mean to satisfy tonight
So get your eyes off my bride tonight
Cause I don't need to satisfy tonight

It's like a cigarette in the mouth
Or a handshake in the doorway
I look at you and smile because I'm fine

Trying to take that breath.

It's not really working. I've been really happy at school because Joseph has been trying to get things out of me so he and a few other really caring people might try to help me, but there isn't much to do. We're not getting the information we need, and it's really confusing right now. Someone chose to end his relationship because he still had feelings for someone else.
I've been invited to two gatherings tomorrow that coincide with each other. I don't think I'm going to end up going to either one unless I can get a ride, so the decision will probably be made tomorrow.
Nothing interesting has happened. We're frustrated, mad, scared, crying, confused, paranoid, and disappointed as usual.

I feel sick.

Logan enlightened me this morning at midnight... He was trying to convince me that oh, this is normal... but it's only natural because so many people apparently do it. I don't know where he got the stats, but it is pretty life-scarring.
I like being a sheltered Asian.

nVm

Actually, I'm going in December... Got the wrong month for some reason.
So meet me in Orlando after Christmas.
I feel... horrid. The guy who made my friend cry inadvertently made me want to cry, too. Remember when everyone said "No! Don't say that! You have a chance!"? Well.. I don't. Life sucks and the day I want to give up, I find out that if I don't give up then I will be hurt even more. My mind told me that this weekend would be relaxing and I would finish my homework easily and that I could stop thinking about this. But then, someone goes and randomly mentions something, so everything seems to be going backwards now.
I told myself that I wouldn't talk anymore to the guy I like... I've been advised to be great friends with him, but I'm too weak to try and it simply won't work. After today, I know that my decision was probably better in this situation because there isn't anything that anyone can do. We can't control things like this; we can only try to make good decisions with or around them.
If I can't stop crying, it won't make me stop telling you to be happy. It's so hypocritical, I know, but please please please be happy. I am not, so be happy for me and when you want to cry, I will cry for you. Isn't that a good deal?

Oh so balla'.

The past week has contained a slew of unfortunate occurrences. Going down the list, Spanish is probably the only class that has no worries. It would be a nice way to begin the day if it weren't incredibly dull. Thankfully, today, we didn't actually do any new work. European history was nice when my grade went to a 95% for doing well on the FRQs, but I got a 4/10 on the reading quiz today. William got a 5/10. The reason for this dramatic drop in performance has been that I've been doing my stat and bio projects, trying to study, and not really getting anywhere. In Stat, I prepared to cry during lunch yesterday, but I am incredibly thankful because somehow, I got a 104% on the Chapter 5 test, so I actually had a 102% even after the 64% on a quiz. Chem has just been torture. I had a 90.1% and then got an 88% on a homework assignment. I thought I had a B, but when I finally checked during bio, my grade hadn't changed at all. After doing the roll-up timeline, my grade rose by .4%, but I know I messed up on the big test today. I got an 87% on the last test somehow, and I don't think I got an A on this one so there's pretty much no way I'm going to have an A in this class no matter how easy it is. At one point during the week, I broke down crying right for many, many reasons that I will never reveal to everyone because it would take a long time and it would sound really selfish talking about oneself for a very extended period of time before I even sat down at the lunch table. That day, I had problems with doing my airplane problems for Pre-Calc for a mysterious reason. The next day, then entire class was forced to rush through the test. English is just... ugggh grammar. The book doesn't teach it well, and we end up making educated guesses on the work that we do in class.
Four people know who I like, and if you're not one of them, it's not because I hate you. I don't know why they know. But don't worry. There's nothing that can be done except giving up. It's just so hard.
My awesome brotherly friend wrote a short letter to me after the night when I told him about some of the reasons why I was going through such a hard time. I didn't rant about everything, but I still got a lot out there and he was so sweet. Letters have always been one of my favorite things, and the act really made me smile. He's an amazing guy and I am still smiling for him.
Today, William called me to ask why I wasn't at the jazz band rehearsal. I don't know if German will accept my excuse, but it's kind of funny how I don't actually have a band grade to get lowered.
One of my friends who was mentioned above is probably going through the worst time of her life. The fact that she's gifted and in challenging classes with loads of coursework isn't helping a bit. I really want to make her happier, but there isn't much I can do to improve the situation. Crying at lunch isn't fun when you're trying to have a nice lunch and to finish your homework and study for an upcoming test. I wish we wouldn't know that.
Someone awesome and incredible and smart even though she disagrees burned me a copy of Sawdust. It was the only thing that excited me throughout the entire day, and it was wondrous.
It is time to name the new FLVS building, but today is the last day to turn in an entry and also the day I found out about it. And I have no ideas.
I want to relax. Work work work work work is all we ever do these disappointing days. I'm going to Disney World for the first time during Thanksgiving Break. Meet you there?

Mr. Brightside

I'm posting this from imeem.

What did you get? What did you get? What did you get?

I don't know yet.
Today was the Rickards Invitational, and oh my goodness gracious!
We had to arrive around 8am, and when I got to the bottom of the school, I found Roland. Before we headed to the cafeteria like it instructed us on the itinerary, Kavita came and told us to follow her to the auditorium. There, half the people had already arrived, including the massive amount of Algebra II kids.
Ryan was late, so Chanyang decided to call his cell phone. However, during the day of the band concert, I had reprogrammed that exact number as jk's cell phone number. Chanyang described the conversation: "Ryan": Hello? Chanyang: Hi Ryan!!! "Ryan": You got the wrong number..
After that, Chanyang got a different number from Jack, which was actually Ryan's phone number. Then, after I changed William's entry of Ryan's cell phone number, Wiliam and I walked up to Chanyang and asked her what the phone number she had was. William, showed her the "real" number, and she changed hers. Jack and I changed the real number to the "real" number too, and we also told Chanyang what "Ryan's" number was. Chanyang yelled at Jack for giving her the wrong number the first time even though he hadn't.
Heading off to the Comprehensive Individual round, we realized that there was a slight upgrade from last year. Instead of an intensive reading-like classroom, we sat in an AP Literature and Composition room. The tests were also much easier, but we were up against the Calculus kids, so we had no chance. Disputes were longer, too, and we didn't have problems with QUITE as many. The Comprehensive Open round was mainly Algebra II problems, which we absolutely forgot how to solve.
Lunch was pretty cool because so many of us were there. William and I walked into Abercrombie for the first time and Hot Topic. After we entered Hot Topic, Ryan, Joseph, Jack, and perhaps James Yan all walked inside the store, too.
I still haven't graded my tests.

Two hours for two minutes.

Yesterday was the band concert, and I went there for two house to play "Soul Man," which definitely didn't take very long. The piano had some really boring chords and that was about it.
My friends were going to set me up with a guy tonight, but one of them wouldn't let two of them go ahead with it because she said he has a girlfriend, which he doesn't. Hah. I knew it would be impossible. =]
I can't go anyways because my mom wants me to go to the Seafood Festival and St. George Island with the family and Shirley's family. I will most likely spend my time reading for Euro, English, and Bio. We have to read about nine Cantos for the weekend which is completely insane, in my opinion.
My teacher said I can play the second movement of Rachmaninoff's second piano concerto! Sounds interesting. I really hope the competition is not one of of my AP exam days.
We have a Euro project, Chem project, and other random homework and I have FLVS and I don't know how I'm going to complete my homework. Chanyang is coming on Sunday evening so we can do the Euro project. I have to go to dinner so I get's this is the end of this post. I need to post more often.

Hwy 10 E

The oil meter thingy on my mother's van stopped working, so on her way back from her business trip near Jacksonville, she ran out of fuel. My father made my brother and me come along, and we drove out to rescue her. My dad brought a communist-colored gallon of oil. The entire trip took about 1.5 hours, and luckily began right after I finished my Euro notes. This is probably the most exciting thing that's going to happen all weekend.
There's this guy who I can't decide whether I like, which is pretty sad because people should know whether they like other people. Still can't figure it out. = ="
I'm glad I set up two couples, though, and I think I'm going to set another one up in the near future. I'm just waiting for my friend's word.
I can't find a piano concerto that I like and isn't too difficult or too easy in my teacher's point of view. It's getting really frustrating.
The Twelve-finger piano piece in "Gattaca" is really easy and you don't need twelve fingers at all. I kind of sight-read the fun parts today. It's an Impromptu by Schubert that looks more difficult that it is when played. If I don't die of boredom tonight, I don't know what I'll do.

Pathetique

I found out that I'm the only girl who I know who hasn't EVER been asked out, which is pretty sad, no? There must be something very wrong with me. Am I missing something that everyone else seems to know or have?
The batteries in my graphing calculator stopped functioning right before the Stat quiz. Thankfully, I could use my scientific calculator to do the work, but I can't do the homework without it.
I haven't begun my Euro IDs and notes yet, and it's probably going to be a really bad weekend. MAO isn't doing the concession stands this week so I will probably spend the entire weekend on homework. Hah. Fun.
There isn't much to say because I'm just really depressed again. Why can't I just get used to it? I'm so selfish and weak these days...