Dilbert comics are awesome.

Best Fundraiser Ever
Scott Adams

I saw in the news that Andre Agassi “inadvertently” whacked his wife, Steffi Graf, in the face with his racket during a fundraiser.

http://sports.yahoo.com/ten/news?slug=ap-grafinjured&prov=ap&type=lgns

The fundraiser was part of a new reality show produced by Oprah. The doctor who bid $70,000 to play tennis with Agassi and Graf also got to put the stitches in Graf’s lip. Hmmmm. . . Was this really an accident?

One theory is that Andre Agassi, the most precise tennis player in history, who could circumcise a mosquito with a tennis racket during mid serve, couldn’t avoid hitting his wife in the face. I suppose that’s possible, in the “anything can happen” way of thinking. But let’s examine the alternative theory.

Let’s say Oprah corners Agassi alone before the event and says, “Andre, the doctor will pay $70,000 just to play tennis. But if you hit your wife in the head so he can stitch her up, that’s another $100,000 to benefit the children.”

At first, Andre would probably say, “No way!” But Oprah would just furrow her brow and look at him in that “I’m Oprah and you’re not” way. She wouldn’t have to actually say, “I’ll tell everyone that you don’t care about children” because it would be implied. Oprah can be very convincing. I imagine her saying, “Andre, you’ve been married for a while. Can you honestly tell me you can’t think of one good reason to bust her lip with a racket? Don’t lie to me. I’m Oprah.”

By the time Oprah was done with Agassi, Steffi’s face was probably starting to look round, green, and fuzzy. Interestingly, Agassi managed to bust Steffi’s lip without damaging her teeth. I assume that’s because the guy who bid the highest was a doctor and not a dentist. If the bidder had been a psychiatrist, that would have been the best show of all. Agassi would have had to club Steffi to death and keep her in a freezer.

I’m not criticizing. I think it’s great to help the children.

A Little Birdie Told Me...

This was taken from one of the most awesome websites in the world. I modified a few of the words, though.

Question: A truck that is transporting birds is weighed. Will there be a difference in its weight depending on whether or not the birds are in flight or standing on the truck?
Answer: There will not be a difference between the two situations. While flying, the birds' wings exert a downward force on the air in the truck which is exactly equal to the weight of the birds, and the air transmits this force onto the truck, and hence to the weighing mechanism.
The only way to cheat the weigh scale would be to have very proficiently trained birds that could fly to the top of the truck and, immediately before the weight is calculated, fold their wings and fall. If the weigh scale is read during the interval before the free-falling birds strike the floor of the truck, then it will register only the weight of the truck.

a splash of cold water would do

Huh. I never knew that "splash" is so difficult to type. Try it.

After getting very depressed this past week, I have decided to finally let it go.
Why? Because there is nothing I can do about it. The rules are there and they aren't going to change. This especially goes toward the fact that they use the same rules for EVERYONE who moves here, so it's fair for all of us. Not for me and maybe one other person in the history of CHS who may have experienced this problem, though.
If I can put this aside, then my life will be SO much better.
I really want to shift on to other things. This has dragged me along like the painstakingly slow and torturous act of watching Jack type and/or read cursive. (Diana told me about the typing part =)
The state convention involves 50 people of CHS leaving after Thursday's school day is over. I'm really excited about this because I haven't really "relaxed" for a long time and that's just what we're doing on Sunday. However, this week will be very busy. Our science teacher told us that we weren't going to have homework over the weekend so that we could have a break. This means that we have to finish an entire unit during a very short period of time. Not as short as Diana, though. And, we all have to study MAO. Most of the 50 people are also in Latin and they are currently at the JCL State Convention in Jacksonville, FL.
Two people from our school qualified for the USAMO! A sophomore and a junior- both oriental Asian, of course.
Oh Darhwin. There is one month and 10 days left until the school year comes to an end yet again. And I don't feel like I learned that much. >:(
I keep telling myself that I would know so much if I studied more, but I want a LIFE, too.
That's why I focused myself on the violin today. And I don't even really like the violin.
On Friday night, Anna had her birthday party. It was really fun, but it didn't last that long. Four hours is never enough. Lol. The whole thing mainly centered around watching a movie. Changyang and Katelyn made it so much fun because we couldn't stop laughing at Anna, who had invited June.
Tomorrow, Katelyn is having her birthday party for two hours.
I think Kavita was supposed to have a MAO teams practice tomorrow which is unfortunate because it will very likely conflict. I probably won't make it onto team at State, though (they take the top four people in your school from Theta(Geometry and Algebra II), Alpha(Pre-Calculus), and Mu(Calculus)), so it should be okay.
This is for those of you who are very bored and want to read something fun: http://web.mit.edu/mollieb/www/archives/professorarchive.html

Getting high from Sharpies

It is so easy.
Disgusting- isn't there ammonia in them?
I smelled ammonia last year during the torturous science final. I could still feel it during my next class- my unbearable U.S. History class.
Diana is in Jacksonville with William.
June has tennis finals at school and now probably tennis lessons with Jack.
Life is so boring at this moment.
I hope my mom comes home in time... I can't exactly drive.

A Few Sad Things in Life

1) getting pen on your arm because you keep putting it down on the uncovered tip
2) not knowing the late homework policies in any of your classes and not getting it when the teacher roughly explains it in anger because I never knew anything about it in the first place
3) being lied to by people who work at your school
4) being lied to by people who couldn't care less about your situation and want you to die who work at your school
5) knowing that you'll never be a part of where you live because everyone else has been here since kindergarten
6) finding out that even the people who have been here their whole lives hate where they live
7) so how much better can it be for you?
8) lack of satisfication.
9) knowing that the last time you were satisfied was more than a year ago
10) technically having a B in science the day before the teacher said she'd sign you off for Pre-AP Biology Honors and AP Chemistry
11) not knowing what in the world the assignment was that was apparently "missing"
12) not really caring that much
13) but in the position to be forced to take a final exam the day before your trip to China
14) not playing the piano with an orchestra until freshman year of high school and it's just another part of the orchestra so it's not special :(

Hehe.

China's natural resources include: coal, iron ore, petroleum, natural gas, mercury, tin, tungsten, antimony, manganese, molybdenum, vanadium, magnetite, aluminum, lead, zinc, URANIUM, hydropower potential (world's largest)
Japans' natural resources include: negligible mineral resources, fish

I got it from the CIA Factbook.

I might like history after all

Here is the comment I received from a recent history assignment:


To make matters even better, after I write a big essay and do a chart and finish a few more homework assignments, I can prepare to fail my final exam!!! Yay!!!
The problem is, I actually knew a lot of details on the first half of world history, and the second half is bad because history classes never get here. It is mostly about the 1900s.

Poems

Smart
By Shel Silverstein
My dad gave me a dollar
`Cause I'm his smartest son
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
`Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes --- I guess he don't know
That three is more than two!

Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just ‘cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the feed-seed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head ---
Too proud of me to speak!

Eighteen Flavors
By Shel Silverstein
Eighteen luscious, scrumptious flavors –
Chocolate, lime, and cherry,
Coffee, pumpkin, fudge-banana,
Caramel cream and boysenberry,
Rocky road and toasted almond,
Butterscotch, vanilla dip,
Butter-brickle, apple ripple,
Coconut and mocha chip,
Brandy peach and lemon custard,
Each scoop lovely, smooth, and round,
Tallest ice-cream cone in town,
Lying there (sniff) on the ground.

Darn you, my single VP

As my VP's little sister and boss, each weekday morning at school is occupied by sitting back nervously as noticeably more and more girls surround, maul, and flirt with him. This obviously explains why my MVC (also my little bro) and the seagull-lover both wish they were Asian guys. According to their dreams, they'd "get more girls".
Meanwhile, my cousin has somehow jumped on his friend (who is a guy) who has hugged another one of their friends (who is very definitely also a guy). This last guy likes far more than one girl at a time. This makes no sense on so many levels.
And then whatever gets in our way at math competitions, school, and any other arbitrary occasions.
Yesterday, I told someone about my cousin's name. He asked, so is there a sergeant too?
I should've replied that there's a colonel, captain, and brigadier general in addition to that.

Grr.

Stupid multiple choice questions. The sources that they give you used to give the answers to the questions. That's why we got the sources that were offered in the first place. Now, the answers are no longer there. They're hiding on abitrary websites all over the Internet.
How convenient.
And only seven or so more assignments to go.
And more than half of them are annoying, tedious projects that need to be hacked and blown up.
Historia es la peor y es MUY aburrida. X.X No me gusta nada.
Oh no. The next assignment might be even worse. I "get to" write abot a major political, military, or economic event that occurred after the 1950's and research the event's impact on international relations. Not fun!
Sorry about complaining again.