night thoughts

hi hums :0

Unfortunately I don't happen to know if you are, but I'm really into getting (and I guess writing) emails and letters haha. So here's one. You don't have to reply of course. :0
I'm listening to a song about being with someone in the moonlight and it eases into a line about falling through the sky to find it. I don't know what "it" is exactly. But tonight I was walking home with two sisters (our new accountability group!) and one of them (Jessica) pointed upwards to Orion's Belt. Stars have always seemed so arbitrary to me, but isn't it amazing that they're in fact so orderly from our perspective? As children when we learned about planetary motion and the contributions of the great astronomers, they showed us all these constellations and I thought these were so forced or labeled for convenience' sake. What's so special about three stars that look like they stay near each other over time?
I still don't fully understand. But there's something beautiful about that constancy. Suddenly a dark blue sky scattered with stars includes pattern and reliability. Maybe God splattered them around like a bunch of confetti (in which case He is the greatest of trolls) but there's so much to it. How far away they are, how warm they are (but not as large and warm as you), and how tiny we are (but not you).
Back to "falling through." Have you ever looked into the flicker of a candle flame or a bonfire? Falling can be a calm experience, definitely on the peaceful side of the dichotomy between falling through the gaze up towards a night sky and the violent falling of a roller coaster cart. I think the former is my favorite way of enjoying things. Really focusing on it and letting all else fade away, knowing there's no immediate reason to leave or redirect my attention. It's a timelessness that transcends worry or fear or misunderstanding. It brings courage, steadfastness, and contentment.
I want to tell you that in this place of focus and peace, when God tells us that we're coheirs with Christ, children of the King of kings, there's a strong feeling and knowing of our royalty, neither prideful nor unwanted. We are free in life and conquerers of anything that tries to defeat us because we are on His side and He is at our side.

I hope you are sleeping well.

Love always,
Kejing