I wrote this yesterday.

Today, my MVC declared that my HOUSE must be pregnant and gave birth to my MVC. He also said that perhaps the HOUSE married Bill O’Reilly. He became dead to the HOUSE. Then, my MVC declared that he would never get married. Later, he said that he doesn’t have a girlfriend and didn’t miss anyone while on vacation in Peru. This made his girlfriend call him cold after I forwarded the email to her. Then, as I called my VP to say “Happy Birthday!” someone in the background sang the song very loudly. I asked him if they were Asian and he said now. Then, after more noise in the background, my VP firmly said, “It’s not my mom!!” after some murmurs in the background. I heard something about “related” and said “I’m related to you!” Because I am. The CEO, VP and MVC are all siblings. Then, I picked up the words “your girlfriend” and some giggling. He said “WHAT?” I said “UM OKAY BYE!” and that was the end of the awkward phone call. My MVC was online at the moment, so I told him about it. I asked him why I’m always paired with Asian guys who are my age. And then… I remembered that I’m sometimes not paired with Asian guys my age. (COUGH COUGH WILLIAM PAIRED ME UP WITH _________ COUGH COUGH.) Being a very loyal and supportive employee, my MVC said “close enough”. On the bright side, he actually called me young for once. But this is not the moment to be optimistic. Many things happened today considering how the people involved barely left the house.