The Downfall of Relish-fil-A

The story below is based on a short story I heard in 8th grade. I rewrote it, making it better and more difficult to read. And yes, I'm the Chief Executive Officer of Gator-fil-A.
As CEO of Gator-fil-A, I decided to create relish because it was the most random condiment we could think of. One day, after the 10th anniversary of the founding of my company, I visited my most faithful customer's house.He had a jar of Relish-fil-A. I asked him why the jar was so big. He decided to tell me a story...Once, there was a guy who had a wife. Oh wow. How interesting. Okay, I'll start the story.One day, the wife mysteriously disappeared. A lot of neighbors thought she had run off with someone else, but no one was sure. There was no evidence of this, so the evil police officers decided to acuse the man of murder.They needed proof.So, they spied on the guy for six months. Yeah, real law-abiding, huh?Every day, he would come out of his house to his garden to chop his trees down. Chop, chop, chop, hack, hack, hack. Every day, one more tree would fall down.Then, he took all of the wood into his house. The wood never came back out.During he second month, he chopped down two trees per day. Chop, chop, chop, hack, hack, hack, chop, chop, chop, hack, hack, hack.During the third month, he chopped down three trees per day. Chop, chop, chop, hack, hack hack, chop, chop, whack, hack, hack, hack. That is all they heard.The police thought this was quite odd. Again, the wood never came back out. Smoke would always rise from his chimney.Sometimes, the guy would leave his property to go and buy vegetables including broccoli, lettuce, and cauliflower. Oh yeah- and relish. My Relish-fil-A was very popular back then, but not any more.Yeah, that was random.So, um. Let's see... What happened next? Oh yeah. He died some time during the end of six months. How did they know? Because one morning, as he was walking outside to chop 6 trees for the day, he collapsed, shivered for a few minutes, and they watched as he screeched, yelling three words.So since he was dead, the police all marched right to his house, entered excitedly(remember, they didn't have a warrant because they had no proof), and found something weird in the chimney.Was it hair? No, the guy didn't have brown hair. He was blonde. Huh. *sarcasm:* Well that was an interesting story.This is when my wonderful Gator-fil-A customer looked at me funny. I guess this was the end of the story. He said, "Do you want to know what those three words were? You know, the police never heard exactly what they were. They were busy eating breakfast. But I did. I was there, passing by."Me: Hey, don't look at me like that! You're pretty creppy-looking.I found out what those three words were.He had said, "I killed her."That's why Relish-fil-A lost it's popularity.