I'm sacrificing precious math study time for Chemistry because I'm really weird. I don't need to, though, since I have enough time over the summer. I think.
Anyways, I've only completed one test even though I need to finish two to hand in with the math homework packet because the teacher eliminated the first two assignments out of the total of three so that my MVC and I could do more MAO practice instead of boring complex number homework. There's a math quiz next Monday and I don't think I'm going to do very well on it because there's this certain type of problem that I can't seem to do correctly. Which is bad. Especially since I don't know how I could've made the exact same mistakes as my MVC, who was doing the exact problem at the exact time in the exact same setting, except with a different brain.
The audition for Symphony (the highest level for Youth Orchestras here) is early May, so I have ONE month to learn the excerpts and prepare a solo. Oh dear.
I was emailing David and this is what was on the right side of the email (where the subliminal Gmail advertisements are located):
This is kind of random too, but I had to read Night by Elie Wiesel for history, and there was one part that was really sad. I typed it up in MS Word and copy and pasted it here:
“All the earth and universe are God’s!”
He kept pausing, as though he lacked the strength to uncover the meaning beneath the text. The melody was stifled in his throat.
And I, the former mystic, was thinking: Yes, man is stronger, greater than God. When Adam and Eve deceived You, You chased them from paradise. When You were displeased by Noah’s generation, You brought down the Flood. When Sodom lost Your favor, You caused the heavens to rain down fire and damnation. But look at these men whom You have betrayed, allowing them to be tortured, slaughtered, gassed, and burned, what do they do? They pray before You! They praise Your name!
“All of creation bears witness to the Greatness of God!”
In days gone by, Rosh Hashanah had dominated my life. I knew that my sins grieved the Almighty and so I pleased for forgiveness. In those days, I fully believed that the salvation of the world depended on every one of my deeds, on every one of my prayers.
But now, I no longer pleased for anything. I was no longer able to lament. On the contrary, I felt very strong. I was the accuser, God the accused. My eyes had opened and I was alone, terribly alone in a world without God, without man. Without love or mercy. I was nothing but ashes now, but I felt myself to be stronger than this Almighty to whom my life had been bound for so long. In the midst of these men assembled for prayer, I felt like an observer, a stranger.
