Try to Imagine

Last night before I fell asleep, I was thinking about how God is always right in front of our faces, constantly. This is really roughly how I see it.
I do not have a son. Well, I do not only roughly not have a son. I definitely do not have a son. Anyway.
What if I sent my hypothetical son to die for someone who didn't even deserve my grace, and then that someone found out what I had done for him? And then, what if he often ignored and doubted me? I'd be completely devastated.
We just ignore Him so much. But He loves us so much that he sent his Son to endure incomprehensible pain and die for us.
Jesus is always here to help you have a personal relationship with God. The Holy Spirit is always here to tell you exactly what God thinks. They are like a team. A really really really smart team that knows all of time at once, and the location and momentum and everything about every single particle ever.
This analogy has nothing to do with my personal experiences. But maybe it will help you. Pretend you are a female civil engineer, and that you know three guys in your Fluid Mechanics class. Please ignore everyone else. You think the first guy is really attractive. It is easy to talk to him, which is great since you are secretly in love with him. The second guy is a good friend, who you see every day. Luckily for you, he wants to make your life as easy as possible. He is willing to tell you the answers right away, so you can get your homework done but do not really learn anything. The third guy will only truly speak to you if you speak to him. But once you speak to him, anything he knows you want and suitably need, he will give to you in a greater capacity. For example, if you ask him to hold your pencil for you, he will carry your whole backpack. He rarely gives you the answer right away, but he constructively guides you in the right direction. He also happens to know exactly what you need in your life on all levels.
At the end of the course, when you are about to take your final, I bet it is great to know the first and second guys. I know. You should. If the first guy asks you on, a date, then GO! But I really hope you have a lot of conversations with the third guy.

Here are some kind of amusing things that have nothing to do with this post.

Watch this if you're bored!

N: :P
Yes and then double that and we gerbil :P
Hahahaha I mean we get you
Not we gerbil! dumb iPhone!!

me: Your birthday flower looks like a fern
R: what is my birthday flower
me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthday_flowers
R: thats bc it is a fern.......
me: but there are flowers
like mine is the dahlia
R: maybe they stole it
Adiantum (pronounced /ˌædiˈæntəm/),[1] the maidenhair ferns, is a genus of about 200 species of ferns in the family Pteridaceae,
YOURS IS NOT NATIVE HERE
mwahahahahaha
me: im not native here...
R: touche

R: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rkR0XmVYfc&feature=player_embedded
me: hahahaha
that's funny
you should try it
R: i will
now all the videos on youtube under recommended for me are arabic
2:59
قطري زاحف
3 months ago
31,637 views
Because you watched
كيف تدخل وانت متأخر

me: i found this instead o.o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1Qut0Nrsiw
he can swim! oh my gosh
P: whoa.
he can graduate from cornell

Just some things

1. I've caught hundreds of fish. Probably enough for my whole life.
2. I kind of wish people made more lists because I like to read them. They are so useful. The ones in my head are usually shorter, though.
3. You know "Smile Like You Mean It" by The Killers? It's about visiting the place where you used to live. I always struggle to explain where I lived. But thankfully I have a friends like Nicole and Chanyang nearby who can explain for me, while I make sounds like "Uh well um."
4. We went to Destin for a day trip. We almost accidentally drove to Panama City Beach.
5. Potted plants are so funny. As opposed to normal plants that grow right on Earth's surface. Think about it.
6. I feel like I can really relate to this:
You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him of whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me. In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. I did not then see what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms. The Prodigal Son at least walked home on his feet. But who can duly adore that Love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance of escape? The words compelle intrare, compel them to come in, have been so abused by wicked men that we shudder at them; but, properly understood, they plumb the depth of the Divine mercy. The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and His compulsion is our liberation. CS Lewis.

Doing Nothing

The packing and moving process was pretty awful.

I'm probably going to forget. But someone please remind me if you remember.

2010.02.24 Calvin V. at 4:35am

if i ever die kejing, i want you to put in the request to facebook to freeze my account. tell them to change my status to "what do you mean there's no in-flight meals?!"

If people use Facebook for much longer, wouldn't there be millions of people on Facebook who are actually dead? I don't know how I feel about that.

Eventually we could have databases of our ancestors. Oh man.

Oh, you know.

Emails have really started to bother me. I always liked them because they were like letters except quicker. But then you never get to see people's handwriting. Also now I never know when I should reply to people.

Two of my friends surprised me at the airport!!! They even made a sign!

My mom reminded them that one of my bedroom walls is completely blank. So I should put the sign there. But it is not there.

Actually, the last time I went to China, I bought a huge Chinese flag and wanted to put it on that wall. But I didn't really have a way to keep it secure, so now the flag is folded up in my closet.

One of my friends suggested on her Tumblr to write on a banana with a pen. Today, I finally did it! I highly recommend trying it out. It met my expectations and more.

6 school years until he can come to Cornell

I love my little brother. Here are some of our emails.

Kevin to me
show details Apr 20
it was good. At Beef-oh-Brady's we were given awards for contests and competitions. I got first place in all four contests for our grade.

Me to Kevin Apr 26
Oh, what were the contests? I'm glad you won.
It is really crazy outside now. And so warm: http://forecast.weather.gov/MapClick.php?CityName=Ithaca&state=NY&site=BGM&lat=42.4422&lon=-76.5002

Kevin to me Apr 28
The contests were Mathcounts, AMC 8, Sigma, and Math Olympiad.

...

Kevin to me at 7:51 PM (3 hours ago)
I took the Orleans-Hanna test. It's supposed to see how well you will learn Algebra. There is a lesson and then there are questions about it. At the end there is a 6th grade review section. The only problem was that I already knew everything.

Run away, David Lei

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HP Unveils Non-Computer For Those Who Don't Need A Computerhttp://onion.com/lKD13Y

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Area Bird Creeped Out By Bird Watcher http://onion.com/bGzN93 #OnionGreen

11 May

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‎"There is nothing like a true love to go and make a fool of someone."

This is not a true story.
When David Lei was a small six year old child, he learned about the tooth fairy. To him, the process of trading one’s tooth for money sounded a bit unrealistic, so he didn’t tell his parents about it. But out of curiosity and a sliver of hope, one night, he put a recently lost tooth under his pillow. Maybe the tooth fairy would take the tooth and leave something. He slept well that night.
As he awoke next morning, David lifted his pillow excitedly. His wide eyes opened with hope, but soon slackened with disappointment. There was nothing under his pillow. If David were old enough to have higher vocabulary, he would have called this experience a “conspiracy.”
Walking past his bed the next day, David realized that the tooth had fallen to the floor. Afterwards, he pretended that he had never been so silly.
During his high school years, David and his parents settled into a ranch styled home in Madison, Wisconsin. In his senior year of high school, his most unique role in society began when he got a phone call from the Department of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco. At the offer of a family friend, David became an underage agent. He traveled around town with various men, and tried to buy beer from bars in town. The first eight wouldn’t sell it to him, but the next two did. The government went on to arrest those last two men. David felt kind of special.
As many Chinese guys do, David entered the College of Engineering at Cornell University. One gloomy Ithaca day, David casually ambled past Goldwin Smith on his way back to his dorm, Mews Hall. He thought “Sure, Mews might not be as cool as Balch, which has its own Wikipedia page. But life is pretty good.”
To spend more time in the company of the light but steady raindrops, David veered northeast, away from his path to Mews. He moved down the awkwardly spaced steps near Noyes, and approached a path around Beebe Lake. He saw a pretty girl jogging along the northern path, so he decided to go in that direction too.
Stepping along the damp path, David felt at peace. Sure, the sky was cloudy and gloomy, and his head was a bit damp. Appreciating the rain, he remembered what a preacher said recently, during Easter on the Quad. “The gorges weren’t made with sunshine, you know.”
David casually paced around the lake for a few more minutes, examining the nature that grew around the manmade lake. A cool westward breeze brushed his cheek like whisper. David turned around, but he was alone.
He looked down, and hopped a little bit back in surprise. Imprinted in the damp mud were a set of mysterious footprints. Who made these footprints?
David speculated that last night, two emotionally struggling young lovers might have found that the lake, secluded from the dorms, was a good place to discuss their relationship problems. After a couple of hours of calm but assertive debate, they stood up to leave. But instead of walking back to the dorms, they fought amidst the strong and pouring storm, clutching onto their failed but desperately emotional relationship into the early morning. The guy must have trudged away, angry and exhausted, stamping his feet into the ground with each increasingly labored step.
But David wasn’t sure whether the footprints belonged to one or two people. The prints were all of similar sizes, and their shapes were too rough in such damp and malleable mud. David shrugged, glanced at the setting sun, and walked back to Mews.
Beep beep beeeeep. Beep bee- David jerked up from his bed and turned off the alarm. It was 8:45am, about time to get ready for an early Freshman Writing Seminar. What a drag. “That class is useless,” he thought.
As David scrambled into the room and tried not to be late, Professor Sinykin lectured about C. Auguste Dupin, a young detective of Edgar Allan Poe’s short mystery story series.
“Morning, David. So, did everyone read ‘The Purloined Letter?’ What did you think?” the professor smiled hopefully. As if more than half the class had done the reading.
Actually, David had done the reading and found it quite captivating. Even after Professor Sinykin dismissed the class, David pondered about Dupin. David was in awe of Dupin’s detective prowess. What a man. Dupin picked out the clues that were necessary to solve the mystery of that letter. Furthermore, David wondered whether or not he would risk his life to uncover the truth behind a mystery.
Walking into the Temple of Zeus, David quickly forgot about Dupin. He had a Rebecca Black moment. Which seat should he take? Except that all the seats were taken. Then, he spotted the pretty girl from his walk near the lake. As he entered the coffee queue, she gave him a quick smile. His ego liked that smile. “Just a normal day,” David thought smugly. But seeing the girl reminded David of the footprints.
Later that day, Peter, Greg and Will joined David for dinner.
“What up,” greeted David. He nodded as his friends settled down with their food trays. “Guys, I think I found something weird,” he added apprehensively.
“What’s up?” asked Peter, David’s roommate and fellow engineer.
“Well I was just walking along Beebe Lake yesterday, and when I looked around at the ground, I noticed these footprints,” explained David. “It was kind of weird.” Peter’s face exhibited thoughtfulness with great patience, and a touch of confusion.
“I dunno, man,” inputted Greg, who never took walked outside because he always worked out in the gyms.
Will offered another opinion. “I think it was an act of God. Things like that don’t just happen. Remember when He made Jesus walk on water in the gospels? David, you were next to a lake. Look around at the water next time. I mean, maybe God is speaking to you, dude.”
“Umm…” Peter mumbled something in disagreement. Then, he added, “It’s pretty sunny today. If we go check now, we probably won’t see any footprints, because the mud is all dried up.”
David knew Peter was right. But he couldn’t stop thinking about those footprints. He went back to the lake at night. He took the path around the lake from the south side. Next, he jogged across the footbridge. In the darkness, the crashing waterfall seemed more powerful. And more intimidating. The increasingly thick rain fed the growing waterfall. By the time David approached the place he stopped the last time he saw the footprints, his breathing became quicker and shallower. Glancing around, David knew he didn’t want to stay long. He was going to get wetter, and he didn’t have a flashlight.
But by the dim light of the crescent moon, David seemed to know what he would see when he looked around at the ground. He saw the same ominous set of footprints as he had the previous day. This time, the footprints seemed more spaced apart, more determined, and heavier. As if someone was running after him.
David bolted away in fear.
“Oh man, oh man, I don’t know what’s going on,” he desperately said to himself. His morning, sitting in writing class, seemed so far away. In fact, even dinner with his friends seemed like forever ago. These terrifying footprints captured David and would not let him escape. And he didn’t know how he was going to spend the next three years at this school.
As David returned to Mews, he was still nervous and shaken. His roommate, Peter, was calmly typing out an essay, and the room was cool and comfortable as usual. David was getting ready for bed when Peter turned to him. “David, I’ve been thinking more about our conversation at dinner. You weren’t looking at your own footprints, were you?”
David’s labored breathing quieted down. Exhausted, he climbed into bed and slept.

Making Lists

Things I think would be really convenient to have in a house

1. A shelf above the bathroom sink but at the bottom of the mirror over the medicine cabinet. So you can put contact lens stuff there.
2. A scale built into the floor and/or wide enough to weigh a suitcase
3. Built-in shelves
4. Food. I know this isn't related to construction but it is really important. Enough to use punctuation.
5. Rolly chairs

6. Recycling bins

7. A ledge inside the window sill to put stuff on it

Things I want to tell my children
1. I believe the Cayley-Hamilton Theorem is important to understanding matrix exponentiation.
2. It is easier to remember telephone numbers in Chinese than English.
3. Criticism and hardship are necessary for growth.
4. I wonder who your father is. He could be studying for finals right now, too! Or drunk.
5. Try not to study for 8 or 9 hours today because then you will... be like me.
6. One of my best friends was an underage agent.

To: Edgar Lei

2011.05.06 11:15am EST

Hello, Edgar Lei!

Are you having a good day?

Maybe since it's still early, you are eating a parfait.

(You are so awesome that you don't need a tray.)

And then you will be ready to go out and play!

Each day in the future, just like today,

You always know good things to say.

Your brotherly love is like a fabulous bouquet,

which beats almost anything - even radioactive decay.

Why don't you pretend the next year is a holiday?

Anything for your departure to delay,

because as many people who can fill up a bay

would agree with the sentiments this poem seeks to convey.

Once you go, what if our hearts are in disarray?
Maybe no one will be okay.

Our hearts will show only gray

as if they are trapped in Tropical Storm Fay (2008.08.25, Tallahassee).

On your journeys, I hope you stop in my birthplace, Hefei (Anhui).

Not because it rhymes, but because it is far away.

And then, you will be more eager to stay,

with me at Stanford (I hope), near San Jose.

If you never see me again, I will send the CIA

to find you so that with kindness I can repay

to you, not just in May

but in everlasting care like that in a work by Monet.

Now it is lunch time, so find a fish fillet.

Or if you really want, you could start to crochet.

Whatever you do, for you I will pray.

Okay. Have a great Friday.

Love,

Kejing Jiang

11:50am EST

More Quotes

[Lecture, March 28-ish, 2011]

Professor Kudva: I put out a report from 1990… you guys were toddlers then. ….. You weren't born? :o

[Texts, Today]

me: Just went inside the suite next door to ours. The hallway is huge. Our rooms will be awesome. Our suite is awesome. You girls are more awesome.

A: Ah, but you are more awesome ;) yay!!! I'm SO excited! :) :) p.s. Dinner tonight? Will you be around?

me: I anticipate being around :). But seriously the hallway is SO LONG.

A: Excellent! :) and oh, I see, I pictured it being very wide when you said that, but long sounds great too! :O

me: That's what she said.

Q: Why did your mom marry your dad?

A: She got too old to do anything else with him.

[Lecture, March 18, 2011]

Professor Hui: I think [the determinant of] a 5 by 5 matrix is what most of us can do before our patience wears out... or before our life wears out.

Yesterday Night

timcarvell If anyone has a horribly embarrassing bit of news they'd like to bury, now would be an excellent time to disclose it. about 15 hours ago Retweeted by BrianR_Norris

Last night, I was sitting in Jillian's room when we heard a lot of yelling. Jillian opened one of her window, so we could discern their words. They were yelling, "AMERICA!!!"

I can't really convince myself that it is okay to be so happy over killing. At the same time, I wonder if there will be a terrible backlash at our country, or whether there really should be a choice to be made: between being "American" and loving your enemies.

I don't know about the future's potential backlashes, but I do have some idea about the choice.

But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44)

Verses like the one above are all over the book I read this spring break, The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. Just yesterday afternoon, a friend mentioned this book. Sometimes, people stretched out Brother Yun's arms as if he was on a cross, or beat him with electric batons. He was consistently grateful for the pain, which I cannot come close to imagining, and so glad that he was persecuted, as Jesus was.

I can't see myself as a particularly brave person. But I think that hardship - pain, criticism, no matter the extent - is not in vain. After all, compared to the eternal...

I am so disappointed and sad to think about all the terrible implications of one person's actions. (I am about to use a lot of prepositional phrases. Just warning you.) But I think that choosing not to hate a man and celebrate his death is not equivalent to choosing empathy over supporting the people who suffer. Choosing to love all people is not equivalent to neglecting my country.

I know he is probably the least brotherly person ever. We have almost nothing in common. He committed terrible, terrible crimes.

Sometimes I lose sight of my first love: God. Because I wish everyone in the world would walk into Heaven before I might.

Yeah, even him. I'm crazy.

Well I don't know you at all. But I love you. You may disgust me to no end, but I know you must have some goodness. At least a little.

I don't really understand how any being can love you that much. But He does, SO much! I know that God has already figured out which path you want most and given it to you. Because He loves you so much more than any person can. So I love Him more than ever.

This is completely unrelated.

A friend told me, "That's what you do to guys. You wear them out." What does that meaaan?

OCD, A Fine Frenzy, and Romans

Hah. This is a mental disorder poster by British designer Patrick Smith. You can find more here.

Now that more people are using the Internet, a lot of people have been blogging. And the more people who blog, the more instances they blog about the same things. Sometimes I wonder if people who are reading mine think that I have been reading theirs if I happen to mention the same things. I wouldn't know. But it is definitely a possibility. For example, two of my friends discussed marriage within one or two days of each other. Maybe there is the confounding variable that many people in college tend to think about marriage. I guess it doesn't really matter too much unless all my friends suddenly start talking about mental disorder posters from Design Milk.

This is a quote straight from YouTube. I know, I'm getting good sources. "...the boys picked the rotten apples at the bottom because they were too lazy to climb the top." The quote is referencing a song, "You Picked Me" by A Fine Frenzy. It's sweet.

My friend let me borrow her copy of The Reason for God by Tim Keller. I have not finished reading it yet. It isn't going to completely sway you in any one direction but it shows that some really difficult questions (such as why God allows suffering, why there is a Hell, why Christianity and not another religion, etc.) actually have answers, and he offers his answers! It's kind of a relief to read things like this. He mentions CS Lewis quite a bit, so if you've read Mere Christianity, you'll probably feel pretty well-read throughout the first few chapters.

These verses in particular have been on my mind for a few weeks. You know how the newer Windows OS's have Sticky Notes (By the way, Ctrl+Shift+> and Ctrl+Shift+< changes the font size.)? When I see something interesting or someone tells me something worth sticking on my computer, I use that. You can tell I really like Romans.

But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul. Deuteronomy 4:29.
...because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39.
For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh. Romans 9:3.